#i was bored and this is the first time i wanted to something creative-ish

[gibuckaroo]

home is the shape of you

photos + excerpts from the fic i wrote

[krysmcscience]

It’s finally done, guys – five whole pages of Narilamb AU comic AND MORE be upon you! (If you have trouble reading any of the text, view the full-size! These pages are huge!)

Yeesh, this took forever. <:)

There’s probably a ton of inconsistencies and anatomy/perspective wonkeries, but this was mostly just comic practice, so Oh Hekkin Well, Lol <:D

(Yes, I am aware the Gateway’s door isn’t present in the Afterlife, and the actual way in is just a pentagram portal. Yes, I put the door in there anyway because Artistic License, i.e. it felt more impactful for there to be a prison door of sorts to walk through to freedom, rather than just a bland boring portal on the ground. 😠)

anyway, i hate backgrounds so much lmao

Alternate ending and a buttload of bonus art under the cut, followed by goofy AU rambles and headcanon stuff:

I’m calling it the Revival AU. It’s not all that creative a title, and someone else has probably used it already, but I am too lazy to really care, LOL

Alternate ending page, which you will Definitely need to view the full-size for, Whoopsie Daisy:

The alternate ending was actually the first ending I finished things off with, because I had a brief badbrain moment where I forgot the emotional beat I initially wanted the comic to end on, and I tend to write comedy, anyway. I later remembered and drew out the proper ending, but I preserved and finished this one, too, because it still makes me giggle.

They had to go back for the followers off-screen in the AU’s real ending. And by ‘they’ I mean just the Lamb, because they weren’t about to ask three newly freed cats to go back into what used to be their prison. The Lamb DID spend some time watching Narinder and the bois enjoying the outdoors first, though:

In other news, here’s the Lamb and me making fun of my anatomy-drawing ‘skills’:

Meanwhile, if you’re wondering why the Lamb is just a-okay with how things went down vis a vis Their Murder, this bonus comic should answer at least some of your questions:

Ah, yes, also this is how they get engaged outside of the alternate ending. Forgot to mention that bit. XD (I already refuse to believe that Narinder is capable of flirting normally, so why would his initial marriage proposal be any better???)

Oh, and before any of them get a chance to actually head back to the cult grounds, there is one potential problem:

And by ‘problem’ I mean something Narinder intends to ignore for At Minimum a thousand years. Cuz he’s a petty bitch like that. :D

what do you mean i drew the lamb too tall compared to the background? clearly they’re standing on top of baal and aym lmao, why else would you think those two aren’t in this one??? (aym and baal got way too excited about finally being outside, you see, and their silly modes are nothing to sneeze at)

And, speaking of heading back to the cult grounds, I’m sure y’all would love to know how the Lamb’s followers felt about the brand new change in management:

It all went better than expected. <:D Tiny ramble now, feel free to skip down to the next comic.

Before you ask, no, the Lamb does not have any actual powers anymore, other than the immortality Narinder definitely grants them. The Red Crown just thinks it’s funny to suggest otherwise, and Narinder does nothing to discourage this. Also, the Lamb and Narinder aren’t actually married here yet, but, uh. Pretty safe to say that particular ritual directly follows the events of this comic. XD

Given how quickly he mellows out in canon, Narinder probably chills out a lot in this AU once he’s in charge of the cult, too, if only because 1.) He’s finally free, and 2.) He’s equally smitten with and distracted by the Lamb. He’s definitely in charge at least 95% of the time, though, because the Lamb never actually wanted to be a cult leader and, now that their time as a vessel is done, they just want to be a normal(ish) sheep who’s wholly devoted to their hot new divine husband.

Some followers do still have some valid concerns about these two being together, though, which I’m sure at least a few of you might share…

Unfortunately for any such concerns, the Lamb is a bonafide masochist in this AU. :D

They’re also 100% a sub, obviously

Anyone at all: Your relationship is problematic and potentially toxic

The Lamb: fuck yeah it is, it’s so hot~ OuO

Here’s just the last panel, made transparent for whatever nefarious purposes y’all might have for it:

Additional exchange Narinder and the Lamb have at some point, probably after the Lamb does a fatal whoopsie while out on a mission trip or in response to things getting a little too sadistic in the bedroom, ahaha:

Look, there is a very important distinction between life and death, and if you don’t understand that, then you’re probably not worthy of being the God of Death, anyway. (At least, according to Narinder, and ONLY Narinder.)

Last but not least, have these shittens:

~Such creative naming conventions I have utilized, lololol~ :D Anyway, there's a few deets on them in the rambles down below.

The rest is all ramble, so before I get to that, I’ll just say – likes and especially reblogs are very much appreciated!!! :D If you happen to really really REALLY like my stuff, meanwhile, I do have a link in my bio to my ko-fi page, where I’m accepting commissions and donations if you’re especially generous… Óu��

Now, BE FREE IF YOU AIN’T DOWN FOR READING MY GOOFY RAMBLES

First ramble is re: Baal’s question of ‘Did it really work?’, since I didn’t feel like expanding on it in the comic proper, and it’s arguably pretty vague? He doesn’t ask because he doubts Narinder or his capabilities, exactly, but because neither Baal nor Aym have ever actually seen their god at full power before (he’s still technically not at full power here, either). It’s not expressly stated how soon the brothers were brought to Narinder after his imprisonment, but whether it was early on or after a length of time for Shamura to (somewhat) recover from his attack, he must have already been weakened, since I have no doubts that there was a huge battle that accompanied the Bishops working together to trap him. So, between that fight with all four of his siblings, sharing his power with a variety of vessels over time, and being chained immobile for a thousand years, he must have been severely weakened by the time he lent the Red Crown out to the Lamb, which would have only weakened him further.

I like to think this is how the Lamb is able to defeat him if they refuse to be sacrificed, despite how it took all four Bishops working together to subdue and chain Narinder in the first place.

All that aside, the three cats have been trapped in the Afterlife for so long that Baal also wanted verbal reassurance that they are all, indeed, actually able to leave it now – something that I headcanon isn’t possible without a significant amount of power (i.e. the Red Crown’s cooperation with its bearer/vessel).

(On a semi-related note, I don’t headcanon Aym and Baal as twins. I like sweetheart big bro Baal and snarky little goth bro Aym too much to have them be that close in age.)

Ah, teeny thing: If you noticed I switched up the art style for Narinder on the second page, that was intentional. It's sort of a visual indicator that there has been a Big Change for him - that being, how much power he has after sacrificing the Lamb. As for why I changed up his arms in the grass rollin' pic, I don't really subscribe to the notion that his arms are spooky bones because they're horrifically injured (beyond chain-chafing scars, that is), but rather just because he's the Bishop of Death, so he can change how normal-to-spooky they look at will. At some point I might doodle out how I imagine his appearance to range between least to most eldritch... 🤔

Next ramble, regarding Narinder’s feelings towards the Lamb...he was initially too focused on being freed from his imprisonment to form any real attachment to them. They were a tool for his use, first and foremost, but he did notice their intense devotion towards him. It was impossible not to notice, because the Lamb was always very happy to see him, even if it was because they died during a crusade (yet again). He wasn’t originally planning to revive them once he was freed, either, because he saw no real point to it – after all, they were already dead when they first met him, just as any other mortal would be when meeting him in the Afterlife, so death has very little real consequence in his eyes. But, once the chains were off, and it really sank in that he stood to lose the most devoted follower he’s ever had, he decided…why put their soul to rest for good or leave them stuck in the Afterlife when he could just as easily revive them again? And why not reward them for their hard work, anyway? Not only would it cost him nothing by comparison, but the future devotion that could come of it would surely make up for his (bare minimum) effort in reviving them.

He wasn’t expecting to get a full dose of that devotion and a smiling face so soon after killing them, though~ :3c (because the Lamb is a bonafide freak, and not-so-secretly into the fucked up power dynamics going on here, lol)

I should mention here that I am firmly of the belief that any non-god/vessel who crosses through the Gateway and into the Afterlife just straight up dies. So, Aym and Baal? Also straight up dead, from the second Shamura brought them through. Their souls were just never put to rest so that Narinder could have some company – if only according to Shamura. Narinder kept the two around mostly out of bewilderment, because honestly, who are these kittens, and what is Shamura’s game here, anyway??? They never even explained anything, they just tossed these kittens into the Afterlife and LEFT!!! At any rate, Aym and Baal being dead is how I explain why their souls apparently become lost in the void if they’re killed, along with the added complications required to revive the two because of it.

So, with those deets in mind, and given a bit of time, if Narinder hadn’t chosen to revive the Lamb, and also hadn’t chosen to put their soul to rest, they still would have woken up at some point, despite being as straight up dead as Aym and Baal. Who, don’t worry, were also properly revived while Narinder was waiting for the Lamb to wake up. Because I am also firmly of the belief that, first, the dead cannot leave the Afterlife without the use of a ritual/relic (and can't stay in the living world for long regardless), and second, dead followers’ devotion isn’t anywhere near as potent as that of the living, given how much more the living stand to lose.

Final ramble, regarding the Lamb’s feelings towards Narinder, and why they’re so devoted to him…

Well, you don’t spend most of your life on the run with your steadily-dwindling herd, trying to evade the ongoing genocide of your species, without becoming a little fucked up in the head. Maybe a lot fucked up in the head. Life is suffering, so might as well have fun with it, right? Maybe start finding death and pain to be kind of hilarious, even a little bit hot, once everyone you know and love is dead and gone, leaving you all alone? And maybe after that, there’s something comforting in how, despite the cold, cruel uncertainties of life, at least you can always count on the inevitability of death, patiently waiting for you until your very last breath? Who knows. Either way, as soon as the Lamb was killed, and they learned that the literal God of Death was offering them a second chance at life and vengeance via effective immortality, they were 100% ride-or-die-devoted all at once. Turns out death is kinder than life – go figure. (Of course, it helps that Narinder is 100% their type.)

They weren’t put off by Narinder’s thinly-veiled sadism or manipulations, either – they’re not too different in those regards, albeit opting for vastly different methods. It’s a very ‘two sides of the same coin’ sort of deal. In order to stay alive once they were made the last of their kind, the Lamb had no qualms with using others to their advantage, and that did not change once they were revived and expected to run a cult. They didn’t care for the position of authority, though – being a sheep and all, they’re much more of a follower than a leader, and thus greatly appreciated Narinder’s need for control. With how they had to keep on their toes for so long, the Lamb was also pretty good at reading people by the time they died, so they could recognize that a lot of Narinder’s posturing was just that – posturing. Dude’s 95% bluster and only 5% bite. He could obviously be vicious when he wanted or needed to (the Bishops' injuries were clear proof of that), but underneath his outer layer of cruelty was a generous layer of tsundere, and underneath all THAT was a soft squishy middle sibling velcro cat in desperate need of attention and affection.

(Which, for the record, he Did Not feel comfortable getting from Aym and Baal – Narinder still has no idea why the fuck Shamura sent them to him, beyond acting as keepers at best or trying to sabotage his attempts to escape at worst. Which, he thought HE sabotaged in turn, by guiding the kittens into being his devoted disciples instead. He thought he was very clever for it. ‘I outsmarted Shamura!’ he thought, despite that there was never anything there to outsmart. ‘What do you mean, Shamura sent your kittens to me for company?’ he demands of Forneus later. It may or may not lead him to pull Shamura out of Purgatory just so he can shake them and scream about how they should have Fucking Explained that!!!)

But, getting back on track as to why the Lamb was so willing to be sacrificed, I cannot stress this enough – if you pay even a minimal amount of attention to what he’s saying, Narinder is REALLY NOT SUBTLE about his intentions. ‘Death is of little consequence.’ ‘Followers are for you to use to your advantage.’ ‘Sacrifice a follower to absorb more power.’ So, yeah, the Lamb knew exactly what would be expected of them once the other Bishops were dead. They knew Narinder would expect them to die for him one last time. But, after all, death is of little consequence (not to mention hot), so when the time came, they wanted to see him freed, even if it meant oblivion for them in the end.

He’d given them a second life, and the ability to avenge their kin, and they felt indebted to him for that – so, while they were still pretty glum about the possibility that they might not get to see him free of his chains, nothing beyond their devotion and debt to him mattered. They never wanted all the drama and expectations that came with the Red Crown’s power, anyway, so, better for Narinder to have it back so that he could deal with it. What he did with the Lamb afterward would be up to him, and seeing as he was their god, they’d accept his decision gladly.

Were they in love with him by that point? Oh, obsessively so, but only in the devotional sense – romance was nowhere on their mind nor radar. That is, until he unexpectedly revived them again, told them he still needed them, and then offered down his hand to help them up.

The Lamb fell HARD for him in that moment. :3c

And now, a tiny shitten ramble. Lu and Li are twins, because sheep tend to have those a lot, and are conceived not long after the Lamb and Narinder’s marriage ceremony. Lu is the minutes older one, but Li is much more mature. I have put no further thought into these two, other than that they are utter menaces, birthed by the Lamb, cling hard to both their parents but especially Narinder (who spoils them rotten), and they are both genderfluid, using whichever pronouns/names they feel like at any given time. They are also both intersex, same as the Lamb, who was initially infertile up until Something Something Vague Magic, which I have also put no further thought into ¯\_(シ)_/¯

oh, and before anyone tries to suggest i headcanon this AU’s lamb as trending more female due to them giving birth or whatever, no, no, a thousand times no, they might have a vag, but they've also got a dick, and even if it's not as big as they'd like, they still know how to use it

Finally, the very tentative name for the Lamb in this AU is Yazdi, which is really just another name for the Baluchi breed of sheep XD (Not that the Lamb is this specific breed, I just didn’t like any of the other sheep-related names I found, ahaha...)

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW (collapses into an exhausted pile of goopy limbs)

[kyuujo]

↳ thinkin of u <3

↳ sae itoshi, shidou ryusei, nagi seishiro x fem!reader (separate) ↳ nsfw(ish) ↳ established relationships, nudes, descriptions of masturbation (fem), “sending them nudes/spicy vids while they’re in public”, slight sexting?, contains crack (sorry i can’t help myself), no explicit sex but lots of allusions to it, language, aged up characters, not proof read :x, my writing

↳ 1k words

↳ tbh i’ve thought about this trope for a long time and finally got the creativity and inspiration to write it! i’m not entirely sure of the quality of this as i’ve never written anything like this before, but i hope it’s still enjoyable! thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoy!! <3

“… now that you’ve played alongside japan’s u-20, would you ever reconsider your decision not to join? the people want to know.”

sae sent an icy glare to the reporter across from him; he’d thought he’d made his stance on this vividly clear, but obviously not.

“no.” sae said simply, reveling in the spark of indignation his refusal brought to the man’s eyes.

“well, why not—?”

sae lifted a hand to silence the man when his phone pinged twice — maybe that was rude, but sae had the feeling that whatever had just come through his phone would be a thousand times more entertaining and engaging than the sleaze across from him.

and boy, was sae right.

my wife: seeing you on tv has me all worked up. maybe hurry it along? 😘

my wife: [video attachment]

despite his current surroundings and the many cameras pointed at him, sae opened the attachment — it was a video, one without sound, but the muteness didn’t take away from the sheer tempting nature of it.

you looked so good, back resting against the armrest of the couch and legs spread lazily and slit glistening in the flash of the camera. your fingers teased at your clit lightly, and desire shot through sae’s body as he itched to replace them with his own.

sae didn’t even get halfway through the video before his phone pinged with another message — and then another.

my wife: SAE YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO LOOK YET

my wife: YOURE ON LIVE TV PUT IT DOWN

sae smirked and gave the reporter a lazy wave before standing.

“my deepest apologies, but i’m cutting this short. i have some other business to attend to.”

sae couldn’t give two shits about the way both the reporter and his pr manager sputtered and desperately attempted to flag him back — his woman was waiting on him at home, and that was far more important.

shidou rarely ever felt bored during matches — but so far, this one had simply been a drag. the opposing team didn’t really offer much of a challenge, and shidou had scored more points off of them than he could justly remember.

by the time half-time rolled around, shidou was seething and sweating, feeling incredibly tense and antsy as he whipped into the locker room.

his teammates knew not to bother him when he was in a dip like this, so they cleared a path for him and avoided eye contact at all costs. if shidou weren’t so frustrated he would have found it amusing.

there was only one thing that may make shidou feel the least bit better — messages from you, something he was guaranteed to find at half-time. a trickle of excitement slithered down his body when he pulled his phone from his locker and plopped down on the nearest bench. his phone read ‘3 unread messages’ when he clicked the screen on.

shidou didn’t think twice about tapping open the chat log between the two of you, a smile instantly gracing his lips at your first message.

babygirl💕: hope your match is going well baby!! i know you’re gonna rock it

babygirl💕: but on the slim to none chance that it may not be, i want to give you some motivation ;)

babygirl💕: [video attachment]

shidou probably should have ensured his sound was off before opening it — but your legs were spread open so deliciously and your fingers were working your cunt at a desperate speed, what was shidou supposed to do? think rationally? tough chance.

lewd moans and whines of “shidouuuuu” filled the locker room and ten pairs of shocked eyes met his. shidou’s cheeks warmed and anger sparked in his chest at the knowledge that now his teammates knew how absolutely angelic you sounded in the throes of pleasure.

all it took was a heavy glare and they were clearing out of the room to give him and your video some privacy.

every single tiny box on the shelf looked exactly the same.

what was he even supposed to get again? he’d read over the front of every box at least three times. pearl, radiant, braided… none of those words rung any bells in his head. what was it you had told him before he left?

“maybe it was the pearl…?” nagi murmured to himself, eyes narrowed as if that would somehow help the answer become more clearer to him. he gingerly grabbed a box and examined it before promptly putting it back on the shelf.

nagi didn’t like to admit defeat, but he’d been perusing this shelf for nearly thirty minutes and still didn’t know shit from shat — he’d have to phone a friend, unfortunately.

nagi slipped his phone from his pocket and was just about to tap open his contacts when his phone pinged with a message; ironically, it was from you.

babycake <3: hurry home love. i’m waiting for you 💕

babycake <3: [image attachment]

nagi’s eyes nearly bugged from his skull when he caught sight of the picture you’d sent him — you, sprawled across the lush queen bed, donning nothing but his freshly washed jersey. if he looked close enough, he could see the faintest tease of your nipples perked up beneath the fabric, and the hem of it fell to your mid thighs, hiding the sweet spot between your legs.

nagi sucked in a breath and clicked off his phone screen, willing his half-hard dick to calm down — at least while he was in the store. with furtive glances down each side of the isle nagi powered his screen on and, while avoiding letting his gaze fall to the tempting picture, typed a quick response.

me: omw. don’t move.

your period wasn’t due for another week, anyway. nagi always had time to figure out the pearl-versus-radiant-versus-braided debacle before then.

i genuinely had so much fun cooking these up! thank you so much for reading! likes, comments and reblogs are not at all required but are much appreciated!! <33

[beefboyandbabygirl]

Pup Code (18+)

(SEQUEL TO GIRL CODE. Y/N IS NOT THE SAME PERSON)

pairing: college!mingyu x college!reader

genre: college au, smut (MDNI), fluff, crack

description: mingyu doesn't have crushes. he likes avril lavigne and sometimes he fucks pretty girls. but you seem to stir something in him that no one else can. without the trusty girl code, mingyu makes his own code to help you fall in love with him.

warnings: kindddaaa bad writing tihi, service top!mingyu, dom!mingyu, sub!reader ish, size kink (reader is mentioned several times to be smaller than mingyu and several key interactions are based on this fact), oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex (dont do it guys...), praise (f. receiving), slight possessiveness?, mingu is soooo in love with y/n, he just wants to make her cum forever :( hes a total dork

quotes from my creative director (@joshibambi): "fuck realistic portrayals of sex with men. im very content with getting exposed to this", "men like this DONT exist",

wordcount: 5.7k

a/n: im back and i think ive regained my ability to write. thank u 2 @ryusha-rose for the amazing name for this fic, it ended up becoming a bigger part of the plot, so thank u sm to them tihihihi

This could not be happening.

Forever boring and bland, his friends had opted out of the party, and Mingyu stayed behind alone. Or not alone. He almost wished he were alone, because almost any company (even none!) was better than sitting across from the two idiots before him.

“Truth or dare, Mingyu!” Josh laughed smugly, and Jeonghan held his hand over his mouth, leaning into him. “Ohhhh, truth or dare!” 

Mingyu had been down this road before. There was no winning in this scenario, Josh and Jeonghan always attempting to pry embarrassing information from him. 

The party had settled down into a low hum. Most people were going home, either humping against another anonymous body as they stumbled out, or walking alone, jacket slung over their arm. There was no reason to stay, really, and torture himself with this circle of hell. Except, of course, for you.

“I don’t wanna do the chicken dance again, so I’m gonna go with truth,” Mingyu pursed his lips, determined to not act a fool in front of you.

He’d always been vaguely aware of you, but tonight had been his first time really sitting down with you. Contrary to your two best friends, you were cool and charming, and you didn’t seem like you wanted to embarrass him. This was already gaining you Mingyu-points, but he was absolutely taken aback by your humor and your smile and he, giddily, found himself liking you. 

Mingyu didn’t usually like people - not like he had always liked Avril Lavigne (there was a poster commemorating that crush in his dorm room) - so this felt big. He was nervous, hands clammy as they slid down his jeans. 

“Tell us about your first time,” Joshua asked innocently, mischief given away by how the older man cackled and slapped his arm. You watched in amusement, eyes flickering over to him, lashes coming over them in long, black lengths. He struggled to breathe when you held his eyes, so he sucked in a breath and looked at the floor, blushing. Damn it, he was already making a fool of himself.

“That’s so rude, Josh!” you said and threw a random chip at him. It hit him on the cheek and he groaned, face scrunching up in disgust. “Ask him something nicer.” 

“You’re so boring, Y/n.” 

Mingyu looked at you gratefully and you returned a warm smile to him.

“Yuck!” Jeonghan quacked from his seat between you and Josh. “You guys get a room! I can’t believe I let this stupid kids’ game take away from my boning.” 

“You’re so gross!” you groaned. 

“Josh was gonna hook me up with this girl from his class, dude,” Jeonghan continued complaining, forever going on about his ‘sexual conquests’. “Now I’m sitting with you dorks and you won’t even let us bully Mingyu.”

“Mingyu’s nice, you guys are just assholes,” you said, gesturing towards Mingyu with your beer. Mingyu was horrified.

Now was the time. Now was the moment to return the compliment; to say anything that might flatter you and defend you from the crooks that you apparently spent your time with. 

Now, this was a bit embarrassing for Mingyu. He had recently been adopted by a female friend group - some might even call him one of the girls, but alas! - so one would think he knew all about girls and how to approach them. The truth was, Mingyu was clueless. Beyond his daydreams of Avril Lavigne, and a few casual flings here and there, he had never actually been put in this situation. 

Mingyu thought about his girl-friends, thought about their advice and their critiques, and he knew. He knew it would frankly disappoint them if he came to them with no expertise, nothing learned from the countless girls’ nights. Therefore, he had to take matters into his own hands. 

“T-Thanks,” Mingu stuttered, lisping across the word. “Y-You’re also great.” 

Fuck, he was an idiot. 

You grinned at him and the sight of your beautiful smile, your shining skin and your gently falling hair was almost enough for him to miss how Josh and Jeonghan were lifting themselves off the floor in disgusted groans. 

“Alright, time to go. Shoo now, back to your dorms. Peasants.”  _____________________________

Mingyu didn’t need his girl-friends. 

He repeated this in his head for days, like a spiritual mantra, and maybe, he hoped, maybe he would start believing it. You and him had one mutual class and he counted down the days before he could swoop in and talk to you casually, flirtatiously, and seductively. 

With the absence of the very helpful girl code (it had certainly helped his friend, Jihoon, with his crush!) Mingyu discovered and consulted a new code. Mingyu code. 

He spent his days diligently writing down his own best advice. Some rules were more helpful than others.

“Mingyu code rule 3: always wash your hands after a shower,” he hummed to himself with a small, satisfied smile, while scrubbing his hands in the steamed up bathroom. 

“Mingyu code rule 12: go on bike rides frequently for a better jawline!” he panted, hunched over his bike, and pedalling through the nearby park in the beating sun. 

Now, Mingyu was mumbling all of his new-found rules to himself, books pressed into his chest, while he approached you in class. It was the middle of the day, and the class hadn’t started yet, people still filing in from the halls. Thankfully, you were sitting alone on your phone, both Jeonghan and Joshua nowhere to be seen. The universe was working with him.

But he was still sweaty and nervous and breathing unevenly when he finally reached you. Remember the code, he reminded himself, remember to be cool and calm.

“Hey...” he whispered, and then, louder: “Hey.” 

You looked up from your phone, smiling brightly when you saw him. For such a huge man, you realized he could look quite small. 

“Hey, Mingyu!” you said cheerfully, settling your phone down on the table before you. He shuffled to sit down next to you, jacket rustling against the wood. Your seat was near the back, so the hall felt great and wide, and a little bit like an audience to his fumbling. 

Rule 14, he remembered sneakily, always wear a jacket, so girls (Y/n) will marvel at your muscles when you take it off! 

Mingyu moved to take off his jacket, eyeing you as he did so, in what he certainly thought was a sultry and sexy look. You blinked back up at him, smiling.

Oh shit. 

Something was caught on- on something! Stuck with the jacket halfway down his arm, Mingyu began struggling and writhing in it, warmth spreading across his cheeks. You smiled at him fondly, biting back a chuckle. 

“Do you need help?” you asked. “No- No, I got it, uh-”

You moved to help anyway, tugging a corner of the jacket off the design of the chair, and he stared at you widely, because you were suddenly so close to him and so cool and calm and pretty, and your fingers danced along his skin. He breathed out a heavy sigh when it finally slid off his arms, furrowing his brows in embarrassment.

“You’re clumsy, huh?” you teased, settling back in your seat and Mingyu chuckled dryly. 

“You don’t know the half of it,” he murmured, and to his delight and surprise, you laughed. You had a loud laugh. It ripped itself from your throat and bounced off the walls of the classroom. He smiled proudly at how your face contorted in joy. 

“You’re funny, Gyu,” you said, stilling finally and he swore his heart galloped in his chest at the nickname. You were so pretty and so sweet, and he wanted to hug you so bad. He grinned, then looked around the room.

“Where are Joshua and Jeonghan?” 

“God knows,” you snorted. “I think they’re poisoning the water supply of some third world country, but I could be wrong.” 

It was Mingyu’s turn to laugh, and how couldn’t he? Because you were so smart and so gorgeous, and he truly didn’t understand how he was smitten by you so fast. There was something humbling about spending all his freetime scrolling through Instagram photos and giggling when you smiled prettily at the camera. 

Next step in Mingyu code was a little tip he’d borrowed from the countless renditions and repeats of the “Jihoon story”; a heartfelt confession.

Wait a minute. Was he skipping a few steps? Surely- Oh yeah, he definitely was. He couldn’t help but want to skip to cuddling, but going from step one to seven was maybe a bit of a stretch. Jogging his brain for his ultimate “confession for Y/n” gameplan, Mingyu didn’t even notice the lull in the conversation, while he stared at you with furrowed brows and a pout.

“So, uh,” you began awkwardly, and Mingyu finally snapped out of his daze. Shit, he was being a dork again. “You coming to the party on Friday?” 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’ll be there. Jus’.. Love partying.”

There was no salvaging this.

“Alright,” you giggled, confused, and finally turned your eyes to the board when the professor began speaking.

Friday, he thought, gulping down the shame. Friday I make some serious moves. _____________________________

Mingyu was not making serious moves. In fact, he wasn’t making any moves at all.

He’d never felt more strange, standing on the edge of the dancefloor and bending his knees awkwardly to the rhythm of the music. His limbs were mile long stretches and they swung uselessly around him. He looked almost lost, but, of course, it was only Soonyoung’s house. 

“You okay, man?” Wonwoo, his roommate, padded up beside him, eyeing him warily through the lens of his glasses. “Are you on something?” 

“No, I’m not on something!” Mingyu huffed, stopping his frankly pathetic dance moves and looking directly at the man before him. ��I just… You know that girl Josh and Jeonghan are always hanging out with?” 

Wonwoo nodded.

“I kind of.. Really.. Like her.”

“What?!” Wonwoo exclaimed, completely forgoing his drink to look at Mingyu in bewilderment. “You haven’t liked anyone since Avril Lavigne!” 

“I know! But this girl’s just really smart and cool and funny,” Mingyu smiled shyly, eyeing you where you sat with Josh and Jeonghan, as well as two girls he didn’t recognize  - oh, wait, no, Jeonghan and one of the girls were leaving together. Just you, Josh and the blonde then. Wait, no, now Josh was leaving with the blonde. Just you.

Wonwoo saw how Mingyu’s eyes brightened with opportunity and he smiled beneath the rim of his plastic cup.

“Wait! Wonwoo! You can wingman me!” Mingyu exclaimed suddenly, hoping the older man’s presence might ease the interaction. 

“What? No!” Wonwoo grimaced.

“Why not?”

“You don’t deserve my services, Mingyu! Not after what you did to me!” 

“We’ve talked about this, the Jihoon-story is a very sweet thing and you should be happy to have been a part of it-” 

“I’m talking about the other time. Or the other-other time!”

Mingyu slumped, a pout on his pink lips. Wonwoo softened, but stayed steadfast nonetheless.

“Listen, just go talk to her. I have a girl waiting for me upstairs, I just wanted to see if you were okay,” the older man said softly, patting his shoulder while a drink was clutched in his other hand, liquid dancing against the cup-walls when he wafted his hand.

“I would be more okay if you wing-manned me-” 

“Alright, that’s enough,” Wonwoo murmured, walking away towards the stairs. Mingyu sighed and looked over at you. You were chewing your lip, face lit by the screen of your phone. 

“Mingyu code rule 17: Confidence is key. Confidence is sexy,” Mingyu reminded himself, squeezing his eyes shut and beginning to walk over to you. “You’re hot, Mingyu. You have big muscles and a pretty face.”

Mingyu could’ve almost convinced himself, but when he opened his eyes, legs mindlessly padding closer to you, you were so pretty and so intoxicating, he faltered completely. 

“H-Hi,” he stammered, brows immediately pulling up in disdain at himself. You looked up and smiled immediately, face shining bright. “Hi, Gyu! Come sit down with me!” 

He nodded dumbly, and squeezed in beside you. His muscly arms were pressed into himself and leaning on his thighs, and he tried to compose his features into something sexy and sultry, when he turned to look at you. You smiled in a sort of knowing way that had Mingyu dropping his face immediately. 

“You enjoying the party?” he rasped, turning to look out at the crowd. You pursed your lips and looked at it with him. “Not sure. It’s kind of boring and Josh and Jeonghan just left.” 

“Yeah, I saw,” he sighed, then widened his eyes. Oh God, he thought, what if you thought he was a total creep - a creepster - staring at you from across the room all creepily. “Not that I- I wasn’t- I just saw it, like, casually across the roo-” 

“Mingyu, do you want to take me out on a date?” 

Huh?

“Huh?” 

Mingyu didn’t know if he was hearing that right. The words had come so naturally and so casually from your mouth, and now you were staring at him with furrowed brows and pursed lips, and waiting expectantly for him to answer. 

“Do you want to take me out on a date?” you repeated, shrugging your shoulders, as if it were just the weather. Mingyu stared at you with whole, wide eyes, and swallowed hard. Clammy hands gripped his knees.

“Yeah,” he breathed, laughing awkwardly. His mouth was so dry and his heartbeat was almost painful in his chest, although the tensions were eased when smiled sympathetically. “I mean- if you want to-” 

“I want to go on a date with you too, Mingyu,” you reassured, smiling even wider when his lips mimicked your own. 

“Oh my God, okay, so, I was thinking Olive Garden-” Mingyu giggled, and his pure expression of joy was infectious, genuinely making your heart soar, as this huge, muscly man bounced on the couch cushions. He cut himself off halfway, narrowing his eyes. “Wait, wait, how did you know?” 

“How did I know what?” you frowned.

“That I like you?” 

Your immediate reaction was to snort. This only confused Mingyu further, so you elected to respond truthfully: “Mingyu, you always look at me so longingly, seriously-”

“That- those were sexy faces!” he pouted. 

“No, they were longing and tender. Like pull-apart meat. And then sometimes you do the- the Zoolander face-” 

“I’ve never done the Zoolander face in my life!” 

“And all your moves are so obvious, Gyu,” you watched how he slumped at those comments, a little, pitiful pout on his lips, all deflated like a puppy. You reached a hand over to caress his arm, warm and hard with muscle under your fingertips. Mingyu immediately leaned into your touch, pout being replaced with a small goofy smile. “It was very endearing, though. You’re very cute.” 

“I was going for sexy,” Mingyu said, mood lifted at your compliment, but still a little pouty.

“Then go sexy on our date,” you squeezed his bicep in your hand and he perked up. “Now that you know I like you too.” 

Hearing those words, that admission, Mingyu smiled to himself. 

Mingyu Code; he truly was genius. _____________________________

“So no Olive Garden?” you quipped, standing outside of a more upscale restaurant - candlelit and warm and Italian. Mingyu shook his head. He’d thought Olive Garden would woo any girl, but after triumphantly boasting to his girl-friends (mothers), that he’d gotten a date with a girl he liked, he’d been nothing but scolded by the restaurant choice (“A girl wants to feel pampered! Olive Garden is for post-6-month-relationships!” Yeri had squawked). 

“Not until in six months,” Mingyu said, shrugging when you lifted a brow in question. Cars were bustling past where you were standing on the sidewalk. Grass sprouted from the cracks in the cement and people idled past where the two of you were facing each other, your head craning up to his. “Wanna go inside?” he asked.

Mingyu had become more at ease, following your admission. You liked him too, he tried to remember, whenever the butterflies batting around his curving ribcage became too much. And it was becoming too much now, with how your lips spread in a smile and you nodded at him.

You walked in, hand in hand. The tables were fine, polished wood and there was a slightly-stained, white tablecloth draped over the rounded surface of the table. Sneakily, Mingyu nudged some salt and pepper shakers over the yellow splotches on the fabric, hoping you wouldn’t notice, and that you’d feel pampered. You were busy looking at the menu. 

Mingyu asked about everything - not because of Girl Code or Mingyu Code or whatever other bullshit way to woo a woman. No, he asked because he was sincerely and utterly interested in you, what made you you, what habits you got from your childhood, what made you choose your major, how you knew Josh and Jeonghan. You were so beautiful in the light of the restaurant, but more importantly, you were the most infatuating individual Mingyu had ever laid his eyes on. Maybe even more so than Avril Lavigne. 

You got to talking about Mingyu Code. 

“Well, it was because of my friends. They have Girl Code, right?” 

“Yeah, that’s God’s rules,” you hummed, sipping on a soda. 

“Mhm, and my friend followed Girl Code and he got with this girl he really liked.” 

“Mhm.” 

“But I decided to make Mingyu Code. Which is about being sexy and charming.” 

“You were none of those things,” you teased, but Mingyu had gained confidence and he leaned back in his seat with a smirk, stretching out his arms, as if gesturing to the restaurant. 

“Well, I beg to differ. You’re here now, aren’t you?” 

“I suppose I am,” you smiled, admitting defeat. “Although I don’t think you were following Mingyu Code.” 

“Yes, I was, I made it. I’m the founder of that shit,” Mingyu grimaced.

“Well, if Mingyu Code is about being sexy, then you definitely accidentally followed some other code.”

“Wha-”

“Puppy code. You’re like a big, clumsy puppy. Yeah,” you nodded to yourself, satisfied with your new name for Mingyu’s terrible, horrible guide to wooing you. “Pup Code.” 

“Why does everyone call me that?” Mingyu whined, crossing his arms and pouting. Your plates were empty and streaks of cream sauce sludged up the sides of the porcelain. 

“You give off major himbo vibes,” you said.

“I’m smart, though,” Mingyu huffed. You smiled fondly at his bratty expression. 

“I know you are.” 

Mingyu caught your eye and caught the sincerity in them, and it made his whole body ache and flutter. You liked him too, it was clear and not something Mingyu had to tell himself, it was right there, right behind your retina, twinkling at him. 

“Do you wanna..?” Mingyu trailed off, pointing his thumb to the door. You pursed your lips.

“What if I wanna take it slow?” You asked, and it was almost adorable how Mingyu’s eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently and seriously. 

“That’s okay! We can- we can totally do that,” he said decidedly, as if it weren’t a bother at all (because it wasn’t). 

“Okay,” you nodded, letting go of your now finished drink. “But if I want you to take me to your room right now and fuck me?”

Mingyu whipped his head to yours, the way a door bursts open. You saw him swallow, throat dry and heavy, and biting his lip.

“That- That would be okay, too,” Mingyu said shakily, blushing furiously. Images flashed his mind of you in less-than-sacred scenarios, and he squeezed his eyes shut to ward them away. 

“Okay, then let’s go,” you shrugged nonchalantly. 

“To my room?” He almost couldn’t believe it.

“Yes.” 

“Okay, fuck, let me just pay.”

Mingyu didn’t think he’d ever paid and left a restaurant so fast, and he was enamored with you enough to completely skip the step where he contemplated whether or not the staff secretly hated him. You and him walked hand in hand, as he practically dragged you through the street back to the dorms, his long legs working faster and more efficiently than your own. You half wanted to complain at the brutal pace, but you couldn’t lie. You needed him just as much as he needed you. And he knew that too. 

Thankfully the restaurant wasn’t too far from the dorms, and Mingyu had frantically texted Wonwoo to “get out or he’d be squirted with semen” (a threat that Wonwoo didn’t need to hear twice!), so after ten minutes and some sore legs on your part, Mingyu and you scrambled into his room.

Mingyu liked the privacy, you realized, because it wasn’t until the door was closed, and you both were sealed away in the Mingyu-zone, that he finally walked up to you, hands finding your waist with a confidence you didn’t think possible for him.

“Can I kiss you now?” he whispered, somewhat out of breath from the climb up the stairs. You smiled at him. “I’d be mad if you didn’t.” 

And then he pounced. His plush lips were soft and well-moisturized, and his annoying, perfect nose brushed against yours; in fact his whole stupidly gorgeous face was pressed into yours, as your lips thrummed together, and you were conjoined into one being by the lips. 

His hands ran up and down your sides, finally taking hold firmly, only to pull you into his lap when he settled on the edge of his bed. You straddled his lap, as your lips danced, his tongue peeking out to enter your mouth. You moaned gratefully. Involuntarily, your hips rolled into his, and the jolt reverberated all the way up to his lips where he cried out and panted against your mouth. 

“You’re so pretty,” he said in between heated kisses. 

“So are you,” you said. He pulled away and smiled up at you, and he was truly worthy of the puppy-title, because his grin was so goofy and his eyes twinkled and he was so warm against you, it almost hurt. 

Carefully, he pressed a kiss to the valley of your breasts over your t-shirt, looking up at you with wide, brown eyes. “Can I eat you out?” 

The way he said it like he was completely and totally enamored with you (he was), like it was in this very moment of sitting on his lip and running your hands up his huge arms, that he was falling in love with you (it was), almost made you bashful. Your smile, usually cheeky and teasing, came small and shy. 

“Yeah, I-I wouldn’t mind that at all,” you responded, cursing at yourself for letting your confidence falter. However joy spread on Mingyu’s face like the ever-expanding universe spreads into endless empty space, because for once the tables were turned, and you were right underneath his hands, and he was flustering you. 

It had him pushing you onto his bed, head falling into the depths of his pillow, and working at your skirt to shimmy it down your legs. You lifted your hips in help and soon enough that and your shirt was discarded on the floor. Mingyu, with his black tee and his big arms and his sweetest-hottest face on Earth, settled between your legs with a dumb grin. 

“I can’t believe-” he cut himself off with a satisfied sigh, staring at your pussy. You were pushing yourself up by your arms, looking at the man-child between your legs just staring at your core as if it were his most prized possession. “I-I can’t believe I get to have you like this. I can’t believe you’re mine.”

Mingyu’s face fell (it was almost comical), and his eyes snapped up to yours. “Wait, are you mine? You are mine, right?” 

You giggled fondly. “Yeah, I’m yours, Mingyu.” 

Mingyu’s grin returned immediately and he nodded happily, eyes turning back to your pussy. 

“It’s so pretty,” he sighed, fangs poking out where his smile ended. One finger ran through your folds, wet from the making out and all the heated stares from lovedumb Mingyu. You whined a little at the pressure when his finger reached your clit. He was so close you could feel him panting against it. 

“Mingyu, please, stop staring at it, and do something,” you cried and Mingyu pursed his lips and nodded. “Right, yeah, sorry.” 

And then he dived in. 

His nose pressed into your clit as soon as he pushed his head in, tongue stuck out to lick at your folds. Your hands flew to his hair, a desperate moan leaving you. It was a little embarrassing how loud he was, huffing and puffing at your pussy, but you couldn’t complain when his tongue traced up from your hole to your clit, lips wrapping around it. 

“A-Aah, M-Mingyu-” you cried and pushed his head further into your core, while your hips canted off the mattress. The press of his nose was amazing, and his breaths danced across your nerves. “S-Shit, that feels so good.” 

Mingyu was totally lost in you though. Your taste on his tongue, your soft thighs underneath his hands where he pushed you apart, your moans, and the desperation in your movements. The fact that you were so catty and witty, but with a few flicks of his tongue, your facade fell and you became a whiny, desperate mess, begging for him. And he loved to give it to you. He loved that you felt good, he loved being the one to make you feel good. Lapping and panting into your pussy, Mingyu started to think he didn’t ever need to leave. You could just feel good forever! The logic was flawless.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you cried and you came on his tongue, cum seeping out of your sopping pussy. Mingyu, strong and tan and shiny Mingyu, didn’t stop though. Too enchanted by your soft moans and your nail in his roots, and your juices on his lips, he kept at it, tongue-fucking you to slurp up the cum. 

“M-Mingyu-” you whimpered softly, and his only response was a grunt, and one hand sliding off your thighs to prod at your entrance. “M-Mingyu, I-I already came!” you cried, more insistent. 

“You can cum again,” he mumbled gruffly, two fingers pushing into you. The feeling was so intense your voice became strangled and your chest pushed off his bed.

“Just say if you wanna stop, then I’ll stop,” his tone was almost challenging, as he pulled his face away from your dripping pussy and his fingers stilled inside you to give you a chance to answer. You looked down at him, panting, as he waited expectantly. Your ‘stop’ didn’t come. 

“That’s what I thought,” Mingyu grinned again, and God, this time it was sexy; not endearing, not awkward, not clumsy. It was so incredibly hot and he dived right back to your pussy, tongue swaddling your folds and fingers beginning to pump in and out. 

Your clit grinded against his face, slick smearing all over him, but he didn’t seem to care one bit, your cum on his cheek and two fingers working inside you, curling into your g-spot. “Cum again,” he gasped in between sucking on your clit with pointed lips. “Cum again, I wanna hear it again. You sounded so pretty, please, cum again. On my fingers now.” 

And he was rambling for sure, but it was working for you, because for the second time that night, a knot tightened in your belly and the string were pulled tighter and tighter with each lick and suck, and eventually it snapped, and your whole body spasmed and your pussy pulsated around his thick fingers. 

This time, he did stop. You closed your eyes and heaved for air, lying completely still in the sheets of his bed and panting for air. Mingyu smiled cheekily, pulling his fingers out of your sensitive pussy and licking them clean. As if it was nothing. As if it was juice from a popsicle, his tongue peaked out and he sucked your essence off of them, groaning at its taste. 

“Can you go on again? You taste so good,” he hummed, eyeing your fucked-out state. Your cheeks were flushed and strands of hair stuck to your sweaty face. You shook your head. “No, no, I want your cock now.” 

“Anything for you,” Mingyu agreed, shuffling to take his clothes off while you regrouped. 

It was not long before he was climbing over your body, so fucking huge and covering your entire form in his own, muscles flexing when he lowered himself onto you. As if by nature, Mingyu, tan and glistening in the bedside lamp, grabbed you by under your knees and pushed them to your chest, pressing them into you. 

“Wanna fuck you like this,” he pressed a kiss to one of the knees that was now folded over you. “Can I fuck you like this?” 

“Please!” you sobbed, because the position, and his strong hands holding you there, and your own slick covering his face had your pussy dripping onto his bed, and you could practically feel the heavy presence of his dick, even if it wasn’t touching you yet. 

Mingyu tilted his head as he looked down at you. You were so easy to admire. It was so easy for him to fall into every little jerk and breath and crevice of your face, and you looked so beautiful underneath him, Mingyu started to think he wanted nothing more for the rest of his life than to make you feel this good. 

“Okay,” he whispered, and only then did you notice how he stared at you, because there was something very tender in his voice. Adoration poured directly from his heart and into you.

Before you could get lost in his warm eyes, he moved one hand down to steer his dick into you. You cried out when you felt it pressing against your slit, cried even more when it started pressing into you. 

You had suspected Mingyu might be big, but nothing could’ve prepared you for each inch that seemed to endlessly plunge into your heat. Stretching you out like a rubber band, Mingyu finally bottomed out in you, his hard pelvis resting against your mound. 

“Shit, Gyu, y-you’re so fucking big,” you gasped, and then opened your eyes to see him smirking proudly. It made you giggle. He hummed giddily, looking down at your stomach. 

“You’re just so fucking small,” he said then, pressing one hand to your stomach, and then groaning when he could feel his dick inside you. “Shit.” 

At that, Mingyu started pounding into you. His pace was fucking relentlessly, something seemingly awakened in him at the bulging in your stomach. “Shit, shit, shit, my tiny, pretty baby, fuck, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” 

The praise had you reeling into him, it had you crying out and gripping onto his shoulders for dear life, while he worked up a sweat pistoning in and out of your pussy. You moans were shaken from the impact of his dick in your pussy. “Shit, so fucking tight, can hardly fucking take me.” 

“G-Gyu, f-fuck-” 

“But you’ll take it, hm? Fuck, I wanna make you cum so much more, jus’ have you in my room, making you cum over n’ over again. Shit.” 

You had not pegged Mingyu as a dirty talker, and you weren’t even sure if he was aware of what he was doing. Something about having his dick inside you, warm walls just pulled one dirty slew of words out after another. He’d never fucked a girl like this, never felt compelled to tell her exactly what she was doing to him. Not like with you.

You were so gorgeous to him, the way your chest bounced, and your eyes were screwed shut and how your mouth was opened in continuous, strained moans. It was how your hair bunched up on his pillow, and how your skin felt against his, and how you clenched at every word he spewed, while grinded into you like you were the only other person in the world. 

“F-fuck, my pretty fucking baby, you’re mine, right? Say it and I’ll make you cum forever, jus’-” he groaned, as your pussy clenched down on him extra tight. His pace fell and his hands on your knees dug into the skin. “Jus’ say you’re mine, please, Y/n.” 

“I-I’m yours, Gyu!” you cried out, his pace speeding up again and another orgasm bubbled in your stomach, and you pussy clenched embarrassingly hard for embarrassingly long. “Only yours, fuck.” 

“That’s right. Cum again, let- let me hear it one more time, yeah?” 

You came. Again. Clenching down so hard, and face twisting in pleasure, cum spilled out of you and coated his dick, still inside you.

Your third orgasm was a melodious song, and you moaned to it so loudly, you knew people three halls over would be wondering what was going on. But you could care less, letting his presence, his smell, his being above you drag more bursts of pleasure out of your body. 

Your breathing calmed down again, your soul traveling down from a sky-high mountain, and you started to feel it all again. Your orgasm had been so blinding, you had lost all of your senses but the blinding white explosion in your stomach, and now sighed heavily, pushing yourself up a little.

To your surprise, Mingyu’s hold on your knees didn’t let up, and it took you a moment to realize that his dick was still extremely hard inside you. He hadn’t cum yet.

“Want you to cum again,” Mingyu smiled sheepishly, adjusting his position to be able to pound into you again. You looked at him incredulously, and he chuckled a little, shrugging. “Just say if you want to stop.”

“Safe word is ‘pup’.” 

[sansundertale14x1]

why NauseAxe_404 loves your writing so much…

based on this silly tweet, I’m gonna use ‘Nick’ for this- for ease of writing (and for my poor poor hands.)

no pronouns but ‘you’- little post cuz I haven’t written in a while.- use of the in-game website: "Dumblr", no it's not a typo;-; Proshippers DNI

word count: 878

content warning: brief explanations of canon violence, creepy stalker-ish behavior (NOTHING SEXUAL ATTACHED), Nick being a weirdo honestly.

vvv that isn't my art, and this entire writing is a fanfic for a game " Monster x Mediator" made by HeadLocker! I really recommend playing the game or watching the gameplay, cuz it's really fantastic!

Story under cut :3

Nick’s in love with your writing…(if you already couldn’t tell), but it’s difficult for you to understand why.

Usually, when you'd open up your laptop, it was after a tough shift at your crap job and you just wanted to do something to fill in the time after dinner and before bed. It was always on the shorter side, 100 words each, and was normally just a quick and crappy self-insert fic to satisfy your creative urges from doing a boring-ass job all day. You never really thought your tiny one-shots would attract any attention, but the man you've been staying with proves otherwise.

"NauseAxe_404" is what he called himself, but you've just been calling him 'Nick' for now. He had been reading your old Dumblr blog for who knows how long, and he's taken a major interest in your little shitposts...So much, so that he had taken the time to print out every single one of your posts and personal information pinned to his room's walls. It's extremely creepy...but also sort of charming?

For the last few days or so, you've been held in Nick's hotel room, practically glued to a desk with a typewriter...slowly making your way through a 100-paged fic that he specifically requested of you. Though you technically could stand up and leave...you'd really prefer for your skull to stay in one piece...and not have a bullet put through your temple.

Nick has been staring at you almost the entire time...which only certified in your mind that he is not human. Every time you turn to see if he's still there...like an unmoving fortress, he always is. It's been a solid 8+ hours of you sitting there and writing...and your stomach starts to emit loud sounds of hunger. You pray he didn't hear that, and continue to type away at the dated machine. However, to your dismay, his deep voice chimes in.

"...What page are you on...?"

Nick asks, seemingly trying to speak quietly for you, but his naturally booming voice isn't giving you any favors.

"...uhm..."

You take a moment to review what you have done...it doesn't look like much but it feels like it took AGES to write out...

"About...10? It's not a-"

"That's wonderful, Superstar!"

He cuts you off just as you begin to speak.

Of course, he's going to be ecstatic. You can't fathom why he seems to be so hopelessly in love with whatever you slap on the paper. You're curious..so you begin to speak.

"...uhm...Nick...why do you..take interest in my writing?"

You softly speak, trying to be careful with your words...you can't afford to overstimulate this man.

For a chatty guy...Nick was oddly silent at the ask of this question…or at least for a few seconds.

“I was trying to find a way to ease the boredom and loneliness of this fucking hotel, so…huff…I joined Dumblr and started to search for writing…that was…huff….purposeful…and that could fix me..”

No way in hell your crackfics could change this man...He must've come out of the womb like that. (or...however the hell he was made..)

"...I came across your first post years ago..huff...and fell in love with the way you wrote your love interest....huff...I knew you were talking about me when I wrote all those comments~"

You never looked at comments due to embarrassment...and you honestly didn't think anyone would even care to comment in the first place.

"....you weren't responding to me...huff...so I might've found everything about you in the meantime...huff...just so I could notice you in a crowd...I always will~"

Okay, now it's getting creepy. You hope that by just turning back around and continuing to write maybe he'd shut up...You guess it's sorta your fault for striking up a conversation with the creep.

"All the other writers don't know shit about writing...huff...1k word counts...huff...long and complicated stories that don't make any fucking sense..."

There goes the rambles. You stop typing for a moment to process what the hell he just said. He either is really balls-deep into this fantasy of you being a perfect human...or he's just trying to fluff you up so you'll continue writing for him. He's really delusional, that's it. It's seriously hard to believe your crap was life-changing for Nick.

“Simplicity is the most important part…huff…not describing some stupid walk sequence for 3 sentences…huff…it’s a waste of space..”

"....maybe you just like simpler writing...?"

You softly reply, yet again praying that you didn't accidentally strike a chord with this guy. He stares you down, and even if you aren't looking back at him, you can still feel the burning of his eyes on the back of your head.

"That's possible."

Oh, it's highly probable. He gets so emotional over the tiniest bit of anything, so...He just doesn't need too many words to evoke a reaction...It checks out because you also like to write a straight-to-the-point sorta piece.

"but don't let your mind wander for...huff...too long...my superstar...you've got at least 90+ pages to go~"

Shit, he was right...time to get back to work.

[ben-talks-art]

I have a confession to make... I don't think I like this movie

Before I start I just want to say, I do think this is a good movie. I think the visuals are amazing, it is very creative, has very pleasant lights and colors, the robots all have nice designs, it's paced well, has a lot of good humor despite what the trailers might have alluded to, and overall, as a stand-alone story, it works well for the most part to tell the tale of two friends eventually becoming enemies.

My problems with this movie come from... admittedly a very entitled headcanon-ish mindset of "This isn't how I wanted things to play out."

Kinda like how when you watch Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and you get upset that Peter doesn't tell jokes because that's a part of the character that really appealed to you, this movie feels like it doesn't do the parts of the character of Optimus that appealed to me, or if they do, they don't do it in a way that I wanted.

I grew up with quite a few different versions of Optimus through the years. The ape gorilla one from Beast Wars, the firetruck one from Robots in Disguise, the young one from Animated, and the one with weird feet from the Bayverse.

They all offer their take in Optimus but they all manage to keep the core idea of his appeal intact, that being... He's a boring guy, that just so happens to be THE coolest boring guy ever.

He's someone who is ready to fight and kick ass for the things he believes and giving it his all until his last "breath", but the things he believes in are pretty basic stuff like world peace and things like that. It's like if your school teacher was a superhero, the most boring person you know secretly fighting crime when they have time but still valuing more the importance of teaching and guiding people in need.

To me, what makes Optimus so cool is that despite being this massive killing robot that can turn his arms into blasters, the guy is just a giant dork who loves life.

His sense of duty over protecting others comes from his sense of love for all living beings and for their right to exist. He doesn't see himself above anyone, only above those that try to use their power to cause harm.

He's a pacifist that only fights when he has something to protect, he's a diplomat who always tries to solve things with words and reason first, he's inspiring because he never ceases to believe in the cause he fights for, and he has the leadership skills to back up everything he stands for. The dude is just HIM.

Even down to the name "Optimal", he represents the best of us in the best way possible.

So I was curious to see how he was going to be handled in Transformers One and... He's kinda basic.

My thing with this version, keeping in mind that this is meant to be a young Optimus, is that I don't really see any of the things I admire in him from other versions.

The focus here is more on playing up his "optimism" as Scarlett Johansson says, to show how cool he is because he never gives up, never stops dreaming, never stops fighting for a better future, never thinks he is less than those above him...

And all of that just feels so generic.

It felt like they could not give a damn about trying to show why Optimus loves and wants to protect life and values diplomacy over violence, and instead just tried to turn him into a Disney Princess who "dreams of more" because he was sick of being a miner.

Heck, the first few segments of this movie were showing him being incredibly reckless and putting himself and other people in danger, all of them for pretty much no reason.

He literally grabs his friend and drags him into a race without letting him know and proceeds to jump on top of several racers resulting in many getting injured, and by the time we were done he didn't even seem to care.

I thought this was going to build up to some reality check moment where he needs to grow up from his reckless behavior, but no, if anything, his behavior only leads to good thing after good thing in this movie. He gets praised by his superior, finds a lost message in the trash, uncovers a hidden secret about his people, unlocks the ability to transform and finally becomes a prime.

Optimus in this movie is constantly getting rewarded for being reckless, impulsive, selfish, and for not thinking.

To a point where when he does start acting like Optimus and takes a shot for someone else and nearly dies, I was like, "Oh, yeah... This is meant to be Optimus... Kinda forgot about that."

I just kept watching this movie and going "When is he gonna become Optimus? When is he gonna become Optimus? When is he gonna become Optimus?" and once he did, it didn't feel earned for me.

Again, my problem was that I never got the sense that this guy was someone who valued peace and life. I got the sense that he was impulsive and ready to fight for what he believed, yeah, but I didn't care what he believed in. The stuff he believed in was stuff any generic action main character tends to believe in.

Stuff like "There is something more to life for us out there, that we're all destined for greatness, that if we just believe in ourselves we can accomplish anything, and blah, blah, blah..."

I didn't really get a sense that he believed all life was worth protecting and even sacrificing yourself for.

There was a little bit of that hinted at with a scene with Jazz and the scene where he takes a shot for someone, but I needed more than that. I wanted to see why this dude would lead armies and fight armies just to protect the innocent, but I never really got a sense of connection between him and the innocent.

Like, we get a brief scene where they see a couple of animals and I was hoping he would have a moment going "Look at them... They're beautiful!" but we don't really get that. Or maybe a scene where someone ends up dying on his arms and he decides to devote himself to never let that happen again, but that also never happens. Or perhaps a scene of him talking and hanging out with the other bots, showing them struggling with their lives and giving him some sense of duty of "I need to do something to help them out!", but no, he barely talks to anyone aside from Megatron.

It's frustrating because we have these core four main characters and I kept thinking we would get some great bonding moments to show why Optimus feels it's important to fight for others, but their bonds is really surface-level. I never got the feeling they really knew each other that much.

I was so sad when I heard the speech about how his "Optimism was his greatest quality" because I just know there will be a lot of people coming out of this movie and going "Oh! That's what makes Optimus such a cool character!" and it really wasn't.

I remember in Puss In Boots 2 when they told the backstory of the little dog and we see how sad the two cats got for him.

I believed that emotion, I believed that connection, and I believed that Puss and Kitty would fight to protect him.

I never really believed Optimus truly cared about anyone any more than any generic action main lead would for their extras in a movie.

Transformers One Optimus is not, in my opinion, a good representation of what makes Optimus such an iconic leader, because it failed to convince me that this Optimus was a protector.

They put too much focus on him being an ambitious dreamer, and not enough on him being a hero.

But maybe that's just me. What do you guys think?

[keen-li]

CLAWED | JJK | CH 02

Synopsis: "do you honestly think I want your help? I'm desperate " you can still see the hatred he has for you in his eyes, but you can also see the desperation.

Genre: e2l, angst, fluff, smut-ish. Convict jk x police officer reader

Fem reader x jk

Warnings: cussing.

______________________

Last night you let jungkook, you even hate saying his name, into your house. You despised him but you weren't that soulless.

"How long are you staying here for?" you ask avoiding the eyes of the man walking around in your robe after you let him shower in your bathroom.

"4 days maybe" maybe?? He says prancing around your house and going through your fridge like a raccoon. He's definitely gotten comfortable very quickly.

"Damn, you don't have food in your fridge" he rummages through your cupboards now.

"I didn't think you'd take my 'stop eating' jokes serious"

Jokes, you chuckle not amused by that.

"Please stop going through my house" you say sternly.

He rejoices when he finds the packet of ramen you you didn't even know existed. You hope it's expired as you see him start to prepare them. You hate how he always tries to make things about him or how he feels entitled to everything, it doesn't surprise you though it's always been this way. Hes always been like this, towards you atleast.

When you were in the Police Academy together and you'd get praised he'd always find a way to make you feel invalid. He'd always hide behind saying it's a joke but you definitely knew that those weren't jokes.

"What happened to you" you say pointing at his bruises and cuts. Your tone is more of a I don't care but I just wanna know type.

"Bar fight" he says too quickly to be the truth, you try to analyze his face. You're not sure if he's being honest but his coming here seems a bit off to you but don't want to question him just yet.

"But what are you doing here, haven't seen you in a while you just appear at my door in the middle of the night while it's raining." You decide to finally ask after a while.

"So you missed me?" He smirks and you roll your eyes at him. Where in your sentence did he get that from. The thought of missing him disgusts you.

"I never said that, you're changing the topic" you cross your arms over your chest trying not to feel intimidated by his god-like build.

"I can't tell you why I'm here but just know I'll be out in 4 days"

______________________________

"We haven't seen you in a while so we came to visit you" your friend Soni says after you ask what she and jinsyu, your other friend, are doing here. You didn't expect them to come over but it makes sense since you told them you had a free day today. But you still wish they had called. So you could hide jungkook.

"We were worried about you" jinsyu says as they walk into your home behind you.

It's their first time being in your house, so they look around in amusement. "oooh this is a really cute place" jinsyu says touching everything she sees.

You're place is nothing fancy, in your opinion it's kinda dull and boring cause of its multiple use of whites, nudes and greys. But you kinda liked it like this, simple and modern.

"Can we go upstairs" Soni says already rushing upstairs and jinsyu following behind her. You didn't even have a chance to give them permission, you didn't mind though. You follow behind them to keep them in check. It's almost like you're the mother of these two.

You don't know where jungkook is and the last thing you want is for your friends to see him. You know that if they see him they'll never let you hear the end of it. They would start calling him your lil'boyfriend when the last thing you want is jungkook as your boyfriend.

Your friends didn't know jungkook, cause you met him whilst training. Soni is a creative director at some fashion store while jinsyu is a training Doctor.

You follow behind them and watch them as they look around your bedroom. You lose focus on jinsyu and she sneaks into your bathroom. You're focused on something else when you hear jinsyu.

"What are these" you hear her exclaim. So you and Soni follow where she is. Immediately you catch sight of what jinsyu is exclaiming about.

And laying there on top of your laundry basket is a pair of grey boxers with Calvin klein on the band, jungkook's boxers.

You immediately rush over to flip the lid of the basket and drop them inside without touching them. You can feel Jinsyu and Soni's eyes on you . And their cheeky and mocking grins too.

"It's not what yo-" you begin when you're interrupted by your friend's squeals.

"Y/n, why didn't you tell us you're seeing someone." soni says smiling from ear to ear.

"That's cause I'm not" you defend yourself.

"Lies" jinsyu follows up.

Your friends barely see you with guys, so they get really excited by the mere thought of you being in a relationship or even talking to a guy.

"I think we should go downstairs now" you say dragging them out of the bathroom ignoring all their little comments and nags.

This makes everything more stressful for you because you don't know where jungkook is. You really don't want your friends to see. You hope he's fallen into a ditch or something wherever he is.

You walk downstairs not noticing the shirtless man in black shorts in the kitchen making himself a sandwich.

"Oh" you hear your friends say and pull your eyes to what's got there attention.

"Is that him" soni says grining widely at jungkook, his muscles contract and relax as he chops up the cucumber. He seems so focused on such a simple job. You're friends watch intensely almost drooling at the mouth.

"Where the heck were you?" You ask hushed approaching jungkook.

Jungkook ignores you and looks over at your friends who walk into the kitchen behind you watching you two interact.

" you should have told me your friends were coming over I would have put on a shirt" he says jokingly but not really talking to you. You know that even if he knew he'd still not wear a shirt.

"That's not-that's not a problem" Soni says and jinsyu bumps her with her elbow.

"you have a boyfriend" jinsyu whispers to Soni and she shrugs her away.

"not one built like that."

"So you're the one keeping y/n from us?" Jinsyu says while soni still drools over jungkook. Her tone is very playful.

"You two are like dating?" Soni says finally out of her trance.

"NO" You and jungkook say like it's the worst thing that could happen in the world.

"He'll no, but she wishes that though." He turns to are you mocking you with an eyebrow raise as he finishes making his sandwich.

"Fuck off, i'd rather die" your eyes are still locked into each other as you say this, he smirks at you probably mockingly. Definitely mocking you.

"I'll leave you ladies alone now" he picks up his plate and eyeing you one more time leaves. Your friends eye him as he leaves to go back outside.

You hated when he stared at you like that it always made you feel small and tiny.

_______________________________

For the past 3 days jungkook has been sleeping on your couch. Your house did have a spare bedroom but it wasn't furnished because you never expected to have visitors, you moved in recently.

"I'd appreciate it if you got off my bed" jungkook says to you who's seated on the couch watching your show.

"I wanna sleep" he adds as he throws the pillow and blanket you gave to him on the couch.

"In my house?" You state reminding him who the house belongs to.

He stands there just watching you as you ignore him for your show.

"Why didn't you run to your own house" you mumble with no care in the world as you rest your head against your palm.

"Last time I remember you had a house when you worked at the station." You continue to spit out like the words are fire on your tongue.

Your comment causes jungkook's jaw to clench and smile to drop. You don't notice but his body and muscles tense up thinking about what you just said.

You slowly turn your head to look at a tensed up and uneasy looking jungkook. It was a blow to the gut you suppose, and that causes you to smile at him happy you could cause him such discomfort.

The jungkook you know would have spit out a comeback seconds after your comment. You begin to feel a little bad due to the way he seems to linger on your comment and the silence that consumes you.

You want to speak but he speaks before you "I lost the house"

You don't know how he lost it so you don't conclude on how to feel but that doesn't stop you from feeling kinda bad. When did this happen? For how long?.

For a moment you forget the jungkook that used to always have something to say about you as his character falters.

Your thoughts are brought to a halt as you hear a knock at your door. You get up quickly to answer the door and to avoid the tension in the room.

Jungkook doesn't bother going to the door, it's your house isn't it. But you notice the worried look on his face when he hears the knock on the door he almost looks like a deer caught in headlights.

When you open the door you see the familiar face of your neighbor, yoongi, his long dark hair up in a man bun. He wore his hair like this often when he got back from work or when he's chilling at home.

You hate to say it but you're noticed this when he takes out his trash and you see him through your window, like a creep. It honestly became a habit to wait for him to take out his trash and watch his shiny black hair bounce in its bun and the loose strands brush against the back of his neck.

One day as you were carrying out your usual, he turns to face your window and it felt like you made eye contact. But you doubt that he saw you. Maybe he saw your curtain move. If he did see you he sure thinks you're a creep but by the way he greets you sometimes you doubt he saw you, or maybe he doesn't mind that you're watching him. Maybe it flatters him.

"Oh hi yoongi. What are you doing here?" You ask fiddling with the zipper of your jersey as you look at yoongi, he's in his usual 'I'm at home look'. A black T-shirt and navy blue shorts which off his smooth and pale legs.

He stands with the box of brownies in his hands.

He reciprocates the greeting and adjusts the box in his hands.

"I brought you this box of brownies I made" he stretches the box and you gladly take it analyzing the box cautiously and happily.

"I've been trying to bake a needed a woman's opinion"

He's confident and clear as he says this not faltering one bit, yoongi's aura always makes you feel somewhat vulnerable and relaxed like you could just let go and be yourself. He still had you on your toes though.

You've only had two serious interactions with yoongi and the rest were just hellos. But from those interactions you've come to the conclusion of how yoongi would be as a boyfriend.

You hum "I'll definitely try them and let-"

The sound of a plate falling gets you and yoongi's attention and shortly afterwards a small 'sorry' follows.

Even if it's small and soft yoongi can definitely notice that it's a man's voice. You slap yourself mentally as yoongi turns to look at you.

"Didn't know you had someone over" he chuckles not intimidated one bit and not trying to interrogate or make you feel bad about it.

"it's just a friend" you release a nervous laugh and yoongi simply notes not pressing it any longer.

"Anyways thanks for bringing these over I'll let you know what I think of them after I've had them."

"Alright I'll be waiting" yoongi says still wondering about the man in your house.

You share your goodbyes and you stand there watching yoongi walk away. You try and collect your thoughts before you go in there and cuss jungkook out.

__________________________

Prev | next

[scribe-of-stories]

Get to Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

Was poked by the wonderful co-writers of Sunset @sunset-a-story and @touloserlautrec. Go read their posts here and here!

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A short eternity (first post is mid 2022)

What led you to create it? Was very bored at work and wanted to share some recent stories. Also I had never tried social media before, it this looked like the most interesting place to try it.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community? Getting to see other people's imagination unfiltered. I've read plenty of great works before, but it was definitely an entertaining first to see the author later publicly say "this is my favorite little guy, can't wait till the next time he suffers."

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you? I constantly feel like I'm bothering people and or feel self conscious when talking about me/my stuff, so bare with me hah.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash? Just some really unhinged stuff about y'alls stories. I want to open my phone and see someone discussing the seven major heresies dictated by some cabal of priests only to later realize "oh, this is someone's fever dream, not a history lesson".

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today? Interact more, take up the offer of "open tags" on other people's posts. Also throw your ideas onto the table for other's to look at, we all seem to love just watching someone go off about something they love.

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately? Been in a bit of a writing drought. Lexical is always getting worked on, more so the TTRPG stuff than any story right now though. I've had a few projects pop into my mind and leave over the past while. Have a cluster of characters I can't get out of my head, but no narrative or setting to properly put them into. A god of violence and the man that cut her out of himself, a cultish vampire philosopher and his favorite little guy (little guy has a knife). Surely something will come of this, or they'll continue to just exist in one-off stories in my own head. Amber Hill, specifically The Lawman, is still somewhere in here but it's been struggling to come out for a while. Been trying to find Lars' voice as a POV character.

How long have you been working on them? I've been working on something based in Lexical since mid 2022 (huh, exactly around I first posted here); the other guys are new and only a few months old at most.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started? Lexical is a can of worms. The short answer is that my irl DnD group wanted to play something more free form and creative leaning than what our 5e campaign was allowing, so I said fuck it and started homebrewing a system based in a world I have vague ideas about. The long answer is that Lexical is a sequel to a Pathfinder campaign titled "Demis", which was about fantasy super heroes. It was heavily inspired by My Hero, Worm, and inescapably Homestuck. So when it came time to make a whole new system for these same players I took some concepts that worked in Demis, applied some occult-adjacent philosophy I was/am into, and ended up with my years long passion project. Atem and Sadaf were born out of my growing need to explore violence as a concept, philosophy, and inescapable existential crisis. The Vampire and his thrall Ish spawned out of a desire to have a toxic romance to think about. And AmberHill was inspired by a desire to create something cozy and occulty. Ended up being SCP adjacent but maintained the idea of a small community that cares about itself.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them? Lexical- not enough, I'm lucky I have at least some productive thoughts throughout the day. Atem- too much, his tired ass sat down in my head and I've been too polite to ask him to leave.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say? "Urban Fantasy with science fiction elements"

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)? "My dissertation on the semi-real building blocks of both physical and social reality, also wizards punching people."

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created. We've got the original Lexical boy Samuel Smith, Atem and Sadaf who you've already heard of, Lars DuPont from Amberhill.

Who’s the most unhinged? Sadaf.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write? For whatever reason Samuel's self-loathing PI perspective just comes very natural and is maybe someone I should write more about.

Do you ever cringe at them? Nah

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? Depends, my mind does not wonder so much that I don't feel like I am ever not in control. But who I am able to focus on tends to be a matter of debate.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? Yes absolutely. Characters, worlds, magic systems; I'll rant about any of them given the chance.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? A combination of preferred genre (urban fantasy), shared interest (books/games/table top). Also if they have Scribe as part of their name it's just an auto follow.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle? There's a few. The telepaths from Sunset and their many ways of being terrifying are the first that come to mind. Since I already mentioned the scribes I'll go ahead and tag @scribe-cas , @covenscribe and leave the rest of the tag open. Here is an empty template

[bryce-bucher]

.50 Caliber 3D Platformer Post #5

(Flashing Lights Warning near the bottom of the post)

UI UI UI UI UI:

I've been working on UI mostly the past couple of weeks. It has been, as usual, both very cool & fun but also hell and evil. To be more specific, I really like designing the visual aspect of UI, but implementing it is always so horribly tedious and boring that it is really hard for me to focus on doing it. Without fail, I always end up getting UI done very slowly because of this. I am really happy with what I've got so far though, and it has brought me one step closer to getting to the point where I can just start hashing out levels.

Making the Health UI:

The health UI was something I was extremely excited about implementing, so I eagerly decided to decide that it was time to make it. Let me step u through the process 4 fun.

For me, it always starts with sketching out something crudely in pen. I've had this sketch done for months now, so it was p cool to see it finally come to life in game.

Next I hopped into blender and began trying to make some kind of cool y2k-era greebled out shape, but making detailed machinery (or details in general) is not my strongsuit, so I ended up with this kinda neat smooth shape that I wasn't entirely happy with. It looked cool, but I really wanted to challenge myself to make something closer to the windows media player skins I was inspired by.

More Specifically, I referenced this Half-Life 2 windows media player skin heavily, and started with a ring that I could build little pieces and wires off of. I hope u can forgive me if I maybe made it too similar lol, but I tried to get creative and put my own spin on it. I think the shapes on the top left are the most similar to my reference, and those are not-so-coincidentally the first bits that I modeled. This is my first time modeling something in this style, and I suspect that I'll get better at it if & when I do it again.

Finally, I slapped some materials on, made a texture for one of the faces I had sketched out, and rendered out a few frames of it gently(ish) flashing. I then went into affinity photo and made little speedometer components to slot into the small circle in the top right and programmed some functionality to it. The plan is to have the face represent the player's current health, so I am going to need to make a few more and then animate it rotating into a different face. But yeah, I am super happy with it, and I think it is lookin p sick!

Other Stuff What I Made:

Other than the health UI, I also added in functionality and UI for completing a level and selecting a level.

I was very much inspired by killer7 for the sequence that plays when you shoot your target, and I am addicted to intense flashing lights, so I included a lot of that. There are already accessibility options to turn that off, so if it's something that could harm u or if you just hate it (coward????!!!11) you can disable them. I've always found intense effects like that very cathartic, so I'm probably gonna include similar visuals in a few different things I make. That being said, I do also always want to make the alternative visuals (when the accessibility options are enabled) to also be cool af and get the point across. The level select screen was also really fun to make, I basically just slapped together some textures of warn-out paper into a little files situation and placed that on top of an abstract background that I made in jwildfire.

Conclusion:

I have honestly really loved working on this so far, but there has been a lot of anxiety about money in my life lately, so I really do hope to get this out in a reasonable time. I feel like I say that a lot about this game, but it is because it's always on my mind unfortunately. I don't want to make it sound like I am making this game entirely for money or w/e though, it is definitely a labor of love. Anyways, I hope to get to a point where I can get some environment art done soon, and I cannot wait to show off whatever this game is gonna look like. Have a nice day every1!

[blu3cl0v3rs]

Summary: Jay introduces Morro to video games

Warnings: Swearing, white jokes (Jay gets called a pasty dough boy)

Prompt: Day 10 - "Welcome to the future."

Extra: Storm siblings(ish) content from me?? More likely than you'd think. Kinda surprised it took me 10 days to make a oneshot about them. Set in a generic "Revived Morro living w/ Ninja" AU between seasons 12 and 13.

Jay put some weirdly shaped plastic remote into my grasp, and held a duplicate in his own hands. It had two weird mushroom-y shaped things he called "thumbsticks" and an assortment of buttons of varying shapes and sizes. There were two ridges that aligned with where I'm pretty sure my hands should be. I assumed it was correct, as it's the same way Jay's holding it.

"...and what makes these things so great?" I ask boredly, tempted to toss the thing just to scare the brunette.

Speaking of him, Jay dramatically held his chest as if I'd stabbed him.

"Do not worry, Brother of Wind, I will show you the way of gaming," Jay spoke like he was in one of those weird romantic tragedies he loved to watch with the Wat- Nya, his hand stretched towards me.

I pursed my lips and shifted his hand away, "Whatever you say."

The freckled man then launched headfirst into a long winded explanation of the importance and history of gaming, most of which went right over my head. The only video games around before I died I never played because they seemed so trivial. I mean, why would you play a digitized version of ping pong? It felt pointless. Plus, Wu was all stingy about technology usage.

"-and did I tell you about how I totally saved the world one time from a video game progra- hey, are you listening?" Jay waved his hand in front of my face.

"I don't think he needed a run down on your video gaming journey, Jay," Cole called from his spot on a beanbag. The other Ninja were similarly splayed over another beanbag, the couch, or the floor as Jay and I sat on cushions in front of the most pixelated TV I've seen in my entire existence.

Today was their "Game Night", and when I had made the foolish mistake to ask what a video game was, well I ended up here.

"Yeah, Jay, I'm pretty sure all you gotta do is explain the buttons and the objective of the game and he's all set," Kai said absentmindedly as he peered over Lloyd's shoulder to watch him play something called Minecraft. Something about a revolution and "enjoying hobbies again". I didn't really want to know.

"I know that, Kai. Anyways, Morro," my head flicked towards him and he held up the controller to my view, then he proceeded to explain the buttons. I mimicked his finger positions on the remote in my hands to memorize it.

"Alright, so since you're just starting out on your gaming journey, we should start with-"

"Just start him on Minecraft," Lloyd shouted, before aggressively clicking a button.

"Yeah, get that creeper!" Kai cheered. What the fuck is a creeper?

Jay seemed to momentarily pout, before just agreeing with the blonde. He loaded up the game and created what he called the "only real way to play Minecraft", which was apparently a normal level Survival world. Whatever that meant.

As Lloyd argued with Jay about how "playing in Creative mode was superior", I messed around to see what was so interesting about this game.

I had… uhh, what did they call it- oh, "spawned" in a forest that resembled a very blocky birch forest. For some reason, you have to destroy the leaves in order to move past them, which didn't exactly make sense. I eventually got bored of wandering, and just started hitting stuff. I discovered when you hit the trees long enough it would give you a piece of the tree. Weird thing was that the tree floated instead of falling over like it would in the real world. At first I thought the game wasn't working properly, but after doing it to like five trees I realized.

My bar on the right was getting low. It looked kind of like a bunch of chicken legs. Did that mean my character was getting hungry? I think I saw an animal earlier, maybe I could kill it and get food? I wandered a bit until I found some pink moving thing that somewhat resembled a pig.

"Hey Morro, you're low on your hunger bar, go kill that pig," Zane helpfully pointed out.

I nodded, and swatted the pig. I guess I should've expected it to run, as it dashed away. I clunkily followed, attempting to hit it as I chased it.

My attempts were not very successful, but my meager hits were enough to barely kill it.

I shifted my, uhh, hotbar – that's what it was called – over to the pork I had collected.

"Wa-wa-wait! Hold on!" Jay yelled. "Have you been playing this entire time?!" He looked shocked.

"Why no, the game's been possessed and is moving on its own free will- yeah, I was playing," I deadpanned the freckled brunette.

"That is not what you should be focused on, Jay, HE WAS ABOUT TO EAT RAW PORK!" Cole shouted offendedly.

Everyone craned to look at me. I simply shrugged, "I just started."

"Well, you have some wood, so click the yellow 'Y' button to open your inventory and whatnot," Kai said.

"It's not yellow, it's orange," Jay argued.

"Doesn't matter, it's the 'Y' button regardless," Cole butted in before he shoved some chips in his mouth.

"Shut up Cole, you're colorblind," Jay growled.

"And suddenly my colorblind opinions don't count, all because a white man said so-"

"I'M HALF FILIPINO!"

"Don't worry, Jay, you'll always be our pasty dough boy," Nya chuckled as she stroked his curls.

"I'm being bullied for my race," Jay complained.

"If none of you explain what I'm supposed to do I will just eat this raw," I state as I got bored studying the new screen that appeared.

"See the four darker gray boxes in the upper right corner? Put the logs you got into there. You'll get planks on the other side of the arrow; click on those until you can't get anymore."

P.I.X.A.L. instructed me through making a "crafting table" and using it to make a pickaxe. Zane then took over explaining how to mine and craft a furnace, then they all dramatically celebrated as I made and ate my first piece of pork, Kai even whipped out his phone to record that moment.

This felt ridiculous. But fun. Ridiculous, but fun. Until-

BANG!

"Ninjas.go was blown up by Creeper

Score: 53"

"What… the fuck was that." I glared at the red tinted screen.

"That was a creeper. They're these weird green four legged things that explode when you get two close," Lloyd replied.

"Are they real?"

"Nope, just in the wonderful game that is Minecraft. Along with Enderman and Golems and the like."

"Welcome to the future," Jay joked.

[omeletcat]

ALRIGHT IT TOOK ME A BIT TO GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT BUT I THINK I'VE FOUND A WAY TO FIX COMBAT IN MY GAME, MAKE IT MORE FUN, MAKE IT MORE ENGAGING, ANDDD MAKE IT MORE UNIQUE!!!! these are the 2 main characters in my game currently named sun and moon (caus i don't have good names yet) they play a big role in the story and until now i have only really been seeing sun as a bonus option for like extra damage in battle, BUT NOW I FOUND A PERFECT SOLUTION at the beginning of the game you start out alone as moon, with 2 main attacks and a dash, attack 1 is a floating hand you can slap and punch people with, the hand follows your mouse and can be used to pick stuff up and solve puzzles. attack 2 will be a bullet or a slash attack that shoots a slash in the air at the mouse. both of these attacks will have "variants" different changes based on certain environmental things like the distance of the mouse from the player when you use the attack, maybe even the movement of the mouse like drawing a circle before attacking. using these different variant sof the same attack will make boring fights less stale and way more engaging!!!! ALSO i got this insane idea: "combo's" what if i make it so using different attacks at the same time will make different effects? that will add even more creativity and intrigue into the game!! this whole revelation came from looking some more into magica 2 and smash, it made me realize the reasons why a single set of moves doesn't get very old very fast in those games, because there aer insane amounts of combo's and ways to use the attacks, that way it doesn't get stale!!!! moon (and sun) will of course get more attacks i already have 1 in mind but i already feel like i am spoiling so much on this blog lol. BUT THATS HTE MAIN PLAN BUT ALSO: SUN, before, i only thought of her as a supporting character, someone you can click on to use for an ultimate battle like (this is gonna be an insanely specific reference) this one inazuma eleven game (a football game imagine fifa but with more anime in it), if you shoot a ball when you are in a certain area and have certain requirements filled you can do a teamup attack that is extra strong. i though tof something like that, BUT THATS SO BORINGGGG, i don't want to make my secondairy character and one of my MAIN CHARACTERS A SECONDARY ACTION!!!! SOOO I LOOKED BACK AGAIN AT THOSE INAZUMA GAMES AND FOUND ANOTHER THING, IN THE FIFA GAMES AND IN INAZUMA YOU CAN SWICH CHARACTERS!!! you see waht i'm getting at??? you will be able to switch from Moon to sun to get a whole different attack pattern and options. sun will be more close combatty and have less distance then moon. soo when you're soulbar( kinda like a mana bar, every spell you cast/attack you use takes off a little bit of that meter, and it slowly fills itself up) is empty you can switch to sun and be forced to go close distance (a percentage of the mana is shared tho just to make it a real threat, or not idk? either i will make it so that mana is smth annoying you have to look after, or it will just be a meter saying " hey you haven't used this other character in a bit! go do that while your main attacks fill up again" but i'l figure that out some other time ANYWAY sun's moveset will look something like this a dash just like moon but instead of some kind of energy surge, sun blasts herself forward with fire or an explosion or smth. the first is a basic punch that blasts an explosion/fire in front of the punch for extra distance but only a little bit, just enough so its reachable, i imagine if you dash and then do this attack, it will make an extra big punch and blast the enemy away. the secondary attack will be a longer distance continuous fireblast that chips away your soulbar slowly, the dahs version may be a big long ass laser beam ish fireblast?

and then not rly an attack? but a thing she can do, she can make her raccoon flip suck up stuff and make a temporary shield against attacks. so all the bullets gets sucked up in his cute mouth ALSO in non battle scenario's both moon and sun have their own skills they use to progressin puzzle's and exploring levels, moon can huse their hand to do puzzle stuff and pick stuff up easy, and sun can smash big blocks of stone to open new area's (and more but i can't say anything caus that would be boringgg) so a bit of a summary this is what i will add to make the game less boring -attack variants -attack combo's -2 main characters with different movesets -a switch option between the characters -ingame puzzle adn exploration functions different to the 2 charactrs

[retourne-toi-eurydice]

Ghost Death Theory Time!

I have basically no proof for any of this, it’s just for fun and I’m sure there’s going to be a line or detail I’ve missed as most of my Ghosts knowledge comes from Tumblr because I’m English and episodes are hard to find here.

Note: Trying to work out the cause of death for any of the ghosts (in either series) is difficult because by nature of being family-friendly(ish) shows they can’t go overboard on the body horror and also whatever makeup they do has to be cheap and efficient enough to do every day exactly the same, particularly for our main cast. So it’s not surprising that most of these theories centre on the idea of internal injuries. All that being said, I believe Hetty and Sass are the only true mysteries left so let’s get into it!

~Hetty~

Pushed: Much like her BBC counterpart I think it’s possible Hetty was murdered by someone she knew. However, if she were pushed out of a window like Lady Button I don’t see why they wouldn’t also carry over the joke about noisily reenacting her death every day. For some reason, my brain latched onto the idea that she was pushed out of a moving carriage. There was just something about everyone’s reactions when she got exorcised out of the car, I don’t know. For many reasons (clothes and hair in perfect order, no broken bones, it wouldn’t really make sense) I don’t think this is it. But I like it so it’s on the list.

Hoity toitied to death: Maybe something stressed her out so much, something was so contemptuous, someone so impertinent, that she had an aneurysm. Obviously, if she had had a stroke or something they couldn’t keep giving half her face muscle relaxant for shooting (yeah I don’t like that image either), so it would make sense if they were choosing to exercise creative license and have all the damage be out of sight. All that cocaine she took in life probably wouldn’t have helped, either. Speaking of…

Drug overdose: I think this is a popular theory but not one I particularly like because that would bring our count of drug-induced deaths up to three, and given that a house full of dead people is the perfect opportunity to get creative why wouldn’t the writers take it? However, I do think that their mutual love of drugs has probably been the topic of a pillow talk or two between her and Trevor- and who knows, maybe dying from the same thing is one of the reasons they bonded in the first place?

There isn’t really any one cause of death I’d bet on with Hetty, although the fact that we got the beheading, lightning strike, and mass disease deaths carried over from the original show makes me think a Grey Lady-style end is a very real possibility.

~Sass~

It is possible that Sass has a fatal injury somewhere under all his layers, though I’m not sure what the most prominent offensive weapons were in his lifetime so I can’t say how likely that is. I’m not sure whether that would be something he’d have disclosed by now either, albeit everyone else who died by another’s hand doesn’t half go on about it. Two things we do know about him are that he is very defensive and hates being embarrassed, so this leads me to think that perhaps his life was cut short by something comparatively pedestrian (and dare I say Isaac-like?). How about these:

Foodie misadventure: This tracks, right? He saw an unfamiliar berry or type of plant during his travels, it looked/smelt good, he ate it without due diligence and died either immediately or a short while after. Explains no physical indications for his death, his love of food, and why he might not want to advertise that he got taken out by a berry he should have known better not to eat. My money’s on this one.

Illness: Boring, but effective. He got sick with something only antibiotics could cure and he died young and unfulfilled *sad face*.

The elements: To be honest if one of the ghosts had frozen to death I like to think they'd be our Mary equivalent but with icicles clinging to them instead of smoke. That would be cool. I don’t have a lot to say about this one but it’s a possibility so it’s on the list.

I think that’s pretty much it for Sass theories- unless he’s got a stab wound hidden somewhere I do think that given his lifestyle and times he died of literal natural causes.

So what do you think, anything you agree with/disagree with? I honestly loved considering all these theories and I’m dying to hear everyone else’s ideas!

[radley-writes]

hey radleyyyy would you happen to have any thoughts on how to write something you love? how to inject your story with things that spark joy? I feel silly asking such a thing because it feels like the short answer would be to just write what sparks joy, but right now I'm kind of at a loss 😭 my current novel feels a bit boring! and I don't know what to do!

Sorry it took me so long to answer! I was ruminating over a response and then an inbox on another account got flooded with absolutely filthy fandom fuckery that stole away my squirrel brain. You have my apologies and my cuddles, because what you're going through is oh-so-familiar to me (and, I expect, to many other novelists). You are not silly to ask, and you are not alone! x

I am approaching this from the perspective of an ADHD gremlin, but I hope this advice will still be applicable.

First off, I think we can all do to remind ourselves that writing is many things at once - a joy, a chore, a vocation, an artform, a habit.

When you are working on a long creative project, there will be times when it drags. No matter how much you love what you do, there will be days (weeks, months) where the words won't flow, where the plot stagnates, where your brain craves new enrichment and alternate interests.

And that's okay!

Accepting that you won't always love your novel is, in my opinion, the first step on the path to finishing it.

It isn't wrong to feel bored of your writing. It doesn't mean your writing is bad - or even boring to anyone who isn't yourself! Tedium is a natural part of the creative process, and I think acknowledging that can reduce the pressure we feel as artists to continuously exude hype about our own creative content.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong, or that your writing is boring. But I can definitely understand your desire to find joy in your writing again!

When I find myself drifting into that headspace, so long as I'm under no time constraint for publishing deadlines, I amble off to write something else for a bit. I usually set myself a small-ish target (50K or under) which I can hyperfocus on and bang out in a week - which for me, means fanfic! Even if it's of my own characters.What’s important is that it’s easy-writing, tropey shenanigans. Anything that will get the word-juices flowing again.

Alternatively, I do writing exercises! There are some really great ones out there - a Google search should provide content, but if not, I can send you some ideas!

It can really help to just cut loose, give yourself permission to pop the current idea in a box, scoot it surreptitiously under your mattress, and come back to it later.

If that doesn't appeal, and you want to keep working on this draft, I would gently guide you to that old authorly adage:

What seems boring to writers is not boring to readers.

We have mulled over, drafted, redrafted, edited and proofread the same story again and again and again. Even if you're on your first draft, you are likely putting in a helluva lot of thought into every sentence, scene, chapter. The most critical reader in the world will not be expending nearly as much effort on parsing your text as you poured into writing it.

I often imagine the sheer work that goes into writing a novel as an assault course. There are times where you are gleefully romping about the woodlands with your imaginary friends, and everything is sunshine, birdsong, and cool neon fungi.

Then there are times times where you get stuck in the nets on your belly and it starts to rain.

And all those imaginary friends just kinda stand around and shrug at each other and watch you wiggle like a worm through the mud. And you're drenched and shivering and miserable and there's something stuck in your left boot that keeps going squelch. And you start to wonder why you ever thought an assault course was a good idea - and how you're going to get the mud stains out of your trousers.

By the time you drag yourself to freedom, you might have barely moved ten inches through the course. But that's still just as big an accomplishment as all the fun frolicking that preceded it.

Whether you decide to divert your attention to a new project or keep squirming squidgily forwards, I wish you the best of luck!

[ayzenly]

how to design [guide]

Well, it's kind of hard to explain how to design, there are a lot of things, techniques you kind of just learn on the way. But I will still kind of guide you through the process. If you're a complete beginner on designing or drawing in general, it can seem a bit intimidating at first. But I assure you, it's as easy as writing an essay. However it is time consuming, just like mastering any other hobby. I was lucky enough to kind of settle on a style within 1 year or so of on-and-off designing, it may take longer for some.  But with enough time and patience, I'm sure you'll get to where I am, if not, better!!! To motivate you, here's a comparison of two designs I've made after 1.5 ish years of progress. :)

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step 1: find your reference

Unless you're a creative mastermind, you will most likely need inspiration / a reference for your design. Most designers, including me, go to Pinterest to do so! my pinterest board can be found here This step is pretty ez, just find an outfit you want to recreate. However, if this is your first design, try to go for something easy and simple, to avoid overwhelming yourself with something complicated. I scrolled for a bit and found this design I would like to recreate!

This is optional, but I usually match my designs with a UGC item so it's easier to make outfits with! For the design above, I'm planning to match it with the UGC below:

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step 2: line art

It's kind of hard to guide you exactly since I don't know what you're designing, but a really important tip to keep in mind is just to not overthink the details. I tend to overthink on really small things that probably no one will notice and then get really anxious over it, and then it results on me taking wayy longer than I should, just keep it simple!!!! I've seen people sketch a base before they design, but I don't, ummmmmm, mainly because I'm lazy + my style is pretty simple so I don't think it's needed. Some other random tips:

1. Use a thin line art pen Pretty self explanatory, try using a pen that is about 1-1.5px thick. (I use 1.4px!) Thinner line art can allow more details to be added! I only recommend using a thicker pen if you're doing no shading, and just line art + base color. 

2. Keep it clean Not sure why, but people always do that weird "sketchy lines" with the choppy and broken strokes??? Please, no. Just keep your lines continuous, it ends up being messy and hard to color if you do make it choppy.

3. Use different opacities I normally don't straight up use the pen at 100%, I use it at about 70%, then from there, I'll adjust it depending on what I'm drawing! Something like below:

Those are like the most important tips I can think off the top of my brain, but I'll update this section if I remember to say something. Here's the line art of the example design:

☆

step 3: add a base color

Time to colorrrrrr, once again, I'll be giving some random tips!!!

1. Pls don't use the bucket tool It's obvious when someone uses a bucket tool and it makes the coloring look uneven, just spend an extra few minutes and color in manually.

2. Keep all your colors in separate layers This is especially important, but if you want to ever do recolors of an outfit, keep all your colors in separate layers. Ex, all of color A in one layer, all of color B in another layer. 3. Use patterns and textures Use patterns and textures it looks more fun. Use patterns like stripes, polka dot, plaid, gingham, etc. For textures, you can do things like knit and denim. 4. color palettes (for non-UGC designs) a. color theory

b.) Monochromatic palettes: I still do this at times, but it's important to incorporate the right amount of colors in your design! I use to only design with two colors (white and color A) and sure it works, buuuuut it ends up looking really bland and boring. Right now, I try to use about 2-3 hues (not including white)! An example when sprucing up a monochromatic palette:

c.) white: I try not to use pure white when making a design because it makes it harder to shade with something that has a color, so I use off-white! For example, if your design is made up of mostly blue, I would use a white that has a slight hue in blue. Examples to reference:

My design looks like this after coloring:

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step 4: shading

I'm going to make the bold assumption that this is the step most people get stuck on. Ngl, I love shading, it gets easier once you find a consistent style to stick to! I will be listing some do's and don'ts when shading!

1. DON'TS a. over blur: Keep the blurring minimal, I've seen a lot of beginner designers just rely heavily on the blur effect (gaussian blur) and simply put, it just makes your design look really messy. Examples of over-blurring (MY OLD DESIGNS):

b. weird highlights: I stopped doing highlights, simply because I don't see the need in it (unless you're doing realism ofc). My old designs always have weird, unnatural, sharp highlights in places that just don't make sense???

c. sharp edges: It just looks unnatural.

d. ???: I never done this, but the shading technique that looks like this:

e. oversaturated shading: Try to use shading colors that are less saturated than your base color. IT JUST LOOKS BETTER TRUST ME!!

2. DO'S a. motion blur: Motion blur is literally so good, especially when you're shading legwarmers or the boobs area!!!

b. don't be afraid to use darker colors to shade: I use to think that kawaii = light colors, and therefore restrict myself to using bright colors to shade. But using darker colors can help to form contrast and makes your designs pop more. c. liquify patterns: Liquify the patterns on your design, it makes it look more 3D.

Ok, now here's how my design looks after shading:

☆

step 5: uploading

Before actually uploading, I recommend to first upload your templates as decals so you can see how your clothing looks in game. Then once they are approved, you can go to roblox studio, load in a mannequin, and test your clothing!

After that, you can upload and you're done with your design! :D

☆  

you made it to the end!! lmk if u have any questions, suggestions to making this tutorial better, etc.

credits: ayzen#1111 or @ayzenly​ on roblox contact me: ayzen#1111

[hanzajesthanza]

by the way, i wanted to thank everybody for so many kind, encouraging, and thoughtful responses to my first video. (slight vent post :>)

it did indeed take a lot of work and a lot out of me, a lot of research, multiple stupid all-nighters… but as unhealthy as it was, it was actually really good for me, i think. it was a real experiment, i honestly haven’t worked so hard on something since my thesis to graduate last year.

i felt cathartic, that i had it in me to make something like this, that i’m not useless…

i mean, i know i’m not, but ever since graduation i’ve felt so, so burned out and as a result of that, just, stupid and inexperienced compared to everyone else in my field, socially isolated, agoraphobic, even, in some cases.

(i’m one of those people that worked really hard in high school and college, and now that i’ve graduated it’s like, who am i? what is my purpose? what is my value? add burnout to that, and you have a year of feeling guilty that i’m not killing myself constantly with projects.)

so to be able to actually fucking make something that not only took a lot of work, but had me constantly pushing my comfort zone, reorganizing my space (physically and digitally) and just trying my hardest to get it done… on top of it, being really, really be passionate about what i was working on… it feels like…

it feels like, if a close friend of yours died a year ago… and you went numb with mourning… but then you just got news that they’re alive…

but the thing is, that friend is you.

it’s funny how dramatic i’m being, because i actually decided today that i don’t like the video much, and that it’s not very well-produced. (it only took me two-to-four days to start hating my artwork, of course. well, i had a good time being proud of myself while it lasted).

it’s something along the lines of calanthe’s “i hope my outburst didn’t offend you. the form, not the content.” i hope this video didn’t offend you—the form, not the content. i’m secure in the content, the research. but the form… again, like calanthe’s, very ‘in the moment.’

i woke up this morning really mad at myself for making some creative decisions that i feel cheapen the whole thing. (i don’t know what posessed me to use my accent color for a background color, it makes the whole thing look gaudy and unprofessional. i guess i just didn’t want a boring white background, but ugh… that is going to be on my list of regrets for a while).

but i placated myself knowing that the video does its job as a biography and a source of information. and the fact that youtubers sometimes remake their first videos later in their careers. (well, at least my first video is a topic that will never go out of style, it’s an essential, expository, evergreen topic of interest). and that i will make more videos, improving one thing at a time. one thing at a time. slow steps to progress.

i want to make engaging videos, but it’s really difficult because i don’t think i have a very engaging personality… it’s very “book report”-ish at the moment, lmao, i’d like to be myself. if i know who that person is.

i had a ton of anxiety about how i would be judged or what if i got it entirely wrong… (i rerecorded some parts due to this and i think that may have been a bad decision, because the cuts sound terrible, but anyways). but everyone was so encouraging and just had such a warmhearted reception to it, i don’t think i expected that. i expected mean comments for some reason, idk lol. i also expected way more pushback and cringe because i was talking about sapkowski (who, as we all know, is not very popular, for some reasons more valid than others). so i honestly have no idea where the positivity came from, except your own good souls and goodwill towards me, which is astounding, so thank you.

i want to make more videos and improve. and grow the channel, so it can serve people who are interested in the books. the books deserve something of their own, their own space. i know they’ve had their own space for as long as they’ve existed, but this would be my space for them. if that makes sense. i’m carving out an intentional space for the witcher books, slowly but surely, it will get there with time.

at the same time, i have to balance this with real life. ugh, real life. i might have serious committments this week, but i have no idea... the exact details yet. essentially, committments that may eat up all my time to the point where i’ll have no time for this large crazy video experiment after all.

my name, nimue, is… an emanation of myself. like krzysztof’s katarzyna. a poet’s name.

my person that exists within book pages, the mind, and the web. but not in real life. or rather, not yet in real life. i think they’re stuck somewhere between the screen and the floor.

i’d like to bring them to life, soon. but it will take time, work. i have no idea if i’ll have that kind of time soon. i have no idea what adulthood brings me in terms of commitments. it hurts me to abandon nimue like this. for once, i was able to bargain something for them, release myself, give into the creative flow. i spent a week being them, i think that’s the longest nimue has ever existed in the real world. and now… i have to jump back into my ‘real’ self again. “no fun allowed.” damn it. and i had just tasted that freedom, that creation.

all i know is that i can’t let them die. though i think they’re immortal inside me, after all. and perhaps one day we’ll become the same person. it could happen!

[lady-fey]

Setting Expectations for Writing Fanfic

Before embarking on any creative endeavor, it's really important to set your expectations for what the results are going to be. It's why I highly, highly encourage people to research the hellscape that is professional publishing before trying to get something published. But these expectations aren't limited to the professional world. They apply to fan spaces, too. I see a lot of people on disheartened by their experiences with fanfiction so, today, I wanted to talk about a few things that I do when writing on AO3 to make sure that I don't get discouraged while writing.

Suggestion One: Treat Kudos as Comments Saying "I liked your story" or, if you're a bit more cynical, "I read your story to the end"

The kudo button is at the bottom of the page. For you to get a kudo, someone read at least the whole first chapter. That's honestly impressive. A total stranger was engaged enough to read every word that you wrote. Be proud of that! I'll click away from a reddit comment if it's boring. A 1k story? It's gotta be engaging for me to engage.

If you're like me and you like data, take this a step further and consider tracking kudos over time. A number on the page might not mean much, but I find it fulfilling to see the numbers go up over time as more and more people read my stories. I have an excel sheet and I write down the kudo counts for all of my stories anywhere from once a week to once a month. Look at all of those pretty trend lines! (Fanfiction.net did this for favorites by default, btw, this wasn't an original idea). I also added a few notes about why the trend lines look the way they do.

Suggestion Two: Learn what a reasonable amount of kudos looks like for your fandom

Those graphs up there are for stories in two different fandoms. The yellow line is for a story that's in the top 3% in its fandom. Meanwhile, the dark blue line right there at the end just barely made it into the top 10% even though it has about 3x the yellow one's kudos.

How do I know this? Well, AO3 lets you sort by kudos and, if you look in the URL, then you can set the page number, too. One of the first things that I do when entering a fandom is go to the middle of the story list and see what the kudo counts look like at that 50% range. This gives me a good idea of what the average story is going to get in this fandom so that, when I start writing, I don't feel disheartened by some arbitrary expectation of what the kudos are going to look like. You can further refine this by doing things like limiting the stories to ones that feature the pairing that you're writing for or stories at the same rating as yours. (That blue-ish purple line at the bottom is an E fic and I knew when I put it out there that it was going to get about that many kudos just based on how E fics work.)

Also be sure to look and see how active the fandom is. I once made the mistake of writing for a video game years after its release and I ultimately abandoned that fic because no one was engaging with it. If I'd payed attention, then I would have realized that was going to happen before I started writing just based on the amount of stories getting updated. If there aren't at least a few new fics of updated fics every day, then realize that you're in a "dead" fandom and you're not going to see much or even any engagement. Decide if you're okay with that before you put your story out there.

Suggestion Three: Ignore the "Hits" on your fic

AO3's hit counter is somewhat useless. While those who have accounts will only ever get counted as one hit, anyone reading in anonymous mode will get counted as a unique hit based on IP. Which means that, if I'm reading on my phone, my one read can count as multiple hits if I switch networks and then the page refreshes or I go to a new chapter. I'll also get counted as multiple hits if I switch over to my tablet or my laptop. This means that the hit number is artificially inflated, especially for longer works. You have no idea what the real hit count is, so don't obsess over it. Especially if you write longer fics. To illustrate this, look at these hits to kudos for two of my fics:

Top fic is at almost 100k words and the bottom one is just below 10k.

Suggestion Four: Don't expect comments

The reason that I spend all of this time tracking kudos is that comments are just never going to be in abundance. It's the reality of writing. And while that's disheartening on some level, it's important to just accept that fact before you start writing. The fandom stars that you see getting tumblr anons and emails begging for updates are rare exceptions to the rule. Their experience is not common even for "popular" writers.

The orange fic in the graph above was lucky enough to make it to the top page of its fandom when you sort by kudos. I have an older fic that's still in the top 10 by favorites over on fanfiction.net. I am, by some metrics, a "known" author. However, my reader interactions for those fics were not substantially different than my interactions for my less popular ones. I rarely get anyone popping over to tumblr to say hi (though you are welcome to do so!) and the more popular fics don't even get that many more comments. A fact that's true even if they're in larger fandoms.

To illustrate, here's the stats for two complete fics of about equal length (10k), both written by me! The top one has 7 chapters, the bottom one has 5. They were both written and published over a few days. Notice how the comment thread count is about the same even though the top one is way more popular?

I will note that the bottom one has been out for a year while the top one is only a few weeks old, so it will have comments trickle in and raise the number over time, but it will never see a major jump unless it performs differently than everything else that I've ever written. The bottom one is also for a fandom that's been around for almost two decades now, so the readers skew older, which is probably why it's a little better for comments.

Better, but not shockingly good.

I know people say that, back in the fanfiction.net days, you got more comments, but I personally don't find it overwhelmingly different. The orange fic in my graph (my "popular" one from AO3) averaged about 13 comments a chapter while it's ffn "equivalent" was at about 39 comments a chapter. Of course, that's comparing between fandoms, which makes this awkward. I do have a way to gage the relative popularity, though: kudos.

If I look at the ffn fandom over on AO3, the top fics all have at least 3x the number of kudos as the top fics my orange fic's fandom. 13 X 3 = 39. So, yeah, not that different as best as I can tell.

Either way, the number is pretty low when you look at how many people are reading these stories. The orange fic has 1100+ kudos and the ffn fic has 2,200+ favs (the closest kudo equivalent). In other words, in the 10+ years that I've been writing, I've never reached a point where I didn't recognize commenters by name. It's just the nature of the beast.

So, cherish the comments that you do get, but treat them as an unexpected gift.

Suggestion Five: art if you can

If you're at all artistically inclined, illustrate moments from your fic and post them on tumblr with a link back to the fic. That often wildly increases engagement for some reason and is why a lot of seemingly popular authors are also artists. I don't have the skills for it, but I thought that I'd mention it both to help expectation set and to hopefully encourage.

Final Thoughts

This whole post has been to encourage, honestly. I know that writing can be a struggle at times, but know that you're not alone in wondering if people are reading you stuff and, if they are, do they even like it? Those feelings are normal, but I hope that this does something to mitigate those feelings. To show that we all struggle to get feedback, even when we write "popular" stuff.

It's why I started tracking kudos. The lack of comments made me sad, but I remembered those graphs from my ffn days. I remembered getting excited watching the line go up for every new favorite because it was another person who like my work. I wanted to recapture that joy.

Looking at my kudos in log form has changed the way that I see kudos. They're no longer just numbers sitting there. They're an active metric for me. They're real people who I can say with certainty read my story. Going in and doing my log is fun because, slowly but surely, the numbers go up. Those numbers tell me that more people have read my stories and I know what stories can do.

Stories brighten people's day. The fact that you could write something good enough for even one person to make it to the end is more potential positive impact than many people will have. So watch the numbers go up and remember each one is someone you affected so much that they let you know about it. Even if all they did was "click a button".